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Can you be considered "close" to your sibling if you aren't friends?

Okay, I have a sister, who, well the family joke is that she will do anything for anyone as long as they aren't family. Her DH's family, she'll be there for, no problem. Her friends, no problem. Our family, problem. When I say "be there" I mean just as being a member of the family and nothing more. But anyhow, she would consider us close is my guess, but I don't think we are. I honestly don't feel like I can count or rely on her very often. Admittedly there are occassions that she does do something "sisterly" but not often and then it has to be on her terms. How can we be close if we aren't friends? I see how my friends are with their sisters and our relationship isn't like that.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Not matter if she does get defensive you still have to talk to her about it. If you know it will not help then you have to accept the fact that the relationship is just going to stay the way it is. You can't expect someone who is satisfied to see what you can see in the relationship. She thinks it is fine and instead of saying to her that it's not a close relationship stay positve and let her know why you want to be closer to her and what being close would look like. If you delever it in a postive light it will go over way better then saying something like. We're not close because you this or that.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:48 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I you want a better ralationship with your sister talk to her. Reach out and invite her to lunch or to come for a visit. Then talk to her about how you feel.

    Answer by bugandsmiles at 1:08 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Oh and we are a pretty typical family, when we are together we do get along fairly well. No fighting or arguments. No Drama. No one leaving in a huff or shouting matches, etc. But she is very emotional and sensitive. We live around her and her feelings and always have, and while I mind that sometimes, I would rather have her here then not, so I deal with it. But I wish I could have a little sister that actually wants to hang out with me occassionally.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • OP: Can't talk to her, it would either upset her because like I said she does think we are close. She sees nothing wrong with our relationship. And then because she was upset, and feeling hurt she would get angry and defensive. I know, I should talk to her, but I honestly don't know how, without sounding like I am whining.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jul. 24, 2009