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What do you do about temper tantrums?

My almost three year old daughter has a rip-roaring fit almost every time we go into a restaurant or a store. She says "Want to go bye-bye, get in the car." I'm not sure how to handle it. It doesn't seem like a good idea to take her out ( and give her her way) but I don't enjoy annoying other patrons.My friend says I should be concerned because she seems to have anxiety about new places. I'm thinking it might be about being required to sit still.What have you done/ what would you do, in this situation or for tantrums, in general?

Answer Question
 
Hazelnutkin

Asked by Hazelnutkin at 2:49 PM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 18 (6,126 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Do you bring anything with you to help occupy her time before the meal comes? When I was little, this was before places had crayons and seperate kids menus, my mom brought coloring books and crayons for my brothers and I. We also had books if we wanted to read, or anything else that was quiet and kept us busy during the wait for dinner.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 3:08 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • My son had one tantrum in public when little(2), i didn't give in. It was at a walmart, so it was already loud in there (i've seen/hear far worse in this store). He cried loudy and fussed. I knew if i gave in, he would do it again to get his way. All kids try. My friend now will not take her kids in public b/c they throw (throw self down, screaming, kicking) tantrums if they don't get their way...and she even admits it's b/c she gives in and won't say no. Now if you are in a quieter place (like a restraunt maybe), it's not fair to others to have to endure. When my son got a little older & had a tantrum i took him to the bathroom and delt with it (he was old enough(3-4) to discuss it, and the consequences of it if it continued. If you think it's about being required to sit still, try some sit still times at home (like before dinner) and praise for good behavior to help her learn your expectations.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I allow my dd to have tantrums--in a private place.
    My feelings are that she can express her feelings, but she may not disturb ANYONE else while doing it. She has to go sit by herself and throw her tantrum. It works like a charm! I tell her to go to her room until she is done or put her in the bathroom at stores and stand by her but turn my back completely, and basically remove my attention. For stores, I carry a sign with me that says PLEASE IGNORE US DISCIPLINE TRAINING IN PROGRESS. It works great. Next time she starts take her to the bathroom, set her on the ground and VERY firmly but neutrally say you have to stay here until you are done. Let me know when you're done. Then turn eyour back. I guasrantee within a minute she'll stop. You HAVE to be firm and do it everytime, which is a pain, but now, I tell my dd if you are going to throw a tantrum go to XYZ place. She immediately quits.
    mama4Christ361

    Answer by mama4Christ361 at 3:12 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Time out right in the middle of the store. The second one starts, they go into time out right then and there I don't care where we are. (okay....not in the middle of a storm or anything "not safe" lol)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I have a simular problem with my 3 yr old son.  He was always fairly sweet and mild mannered child unti recently. now he throws a fit every time he is told no. i dont give in but still he persists. i have not found any thing that works yet. If you do i wouldlove to hear about it!

    militarywife20

    Answer by militarywife20 at 9:04 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • If we are in public I tell to stop, and if she doesn't then we go to the bathroom and she gets a spanking, not hard, just enough so she knows she's in trouble. If we're home, she goes to her room and she doesn't come out till she's calmed down. Also, I tell her going out is a privledge, and if she can't behave then she won't go anymore. I guess I'm lucky, cause she's usually very well behaved in public, and has most of her tantrums at home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Restraunt i'm not sure how i would handle hasn't happened yet with my four year old....but its important to decide what limits your child has and what lines they can and cannot cross...once you've made up your mind you just need to remember them and stick to one sort of behavior to deal with it. I've always been very firm about tantrums and very oblivious to other people seeing my child throw a fit it's how children learn by testing you in every situation and every way possible. You don't need to do the "right" thing just remember your always teaching them with your actions and sometimes raising your voice or showing them your mad is fine- everyones patience wheres thin sometimes and no one is perfect If you act as though it's unacceptable and find a punishment like taking away a privlege or toy I've found work well without getting angry...sorry this is such a lengthy response!
    mumlovesjexus

    Answer by mumlovesjexus at 4:10 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

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