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How to discipline an 11 yr old who has taken money twice?

I'm an engaged mom of 3. This chils has taken money twice from her soon to be step-sister. I'm not sure how to discipline her. Obviously the first time punichment wasn't enough(no TV/electronics for a week and gave the money back and verbally apologized). Any suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (13)
  • If she's going to do the crime she needs to do the time. If regular punishments aren't working I would call the police on her the next time.


    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 7:05 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Or better yet read "Omg!!! How would you respond to this" on top of the answer page. In truth I am thinking about doing the same with my child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • some kids dont stop
    I have an uncle that is my age, he started taking money from his mom [my grandma] when he was 11 also and still is doing it till this day.
    She took his cell phone made him stay in the house for weeks [he went out a lot]
    and still nothing made him stop.

    Answer by effie777 at 7:15 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Why is her father not doing anything? I would have her start paying you back. If she receives an allowance from him he should just hand it over to her. She may start to think twice.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 7:37 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I would make her pay it back, AND work off the money as well so she knows the value of it. I suggest manual labor of some sort at minimum wage :) It worked for me the only time I EVER stole anything, my dad made me go back and give it back, and then I worked hard for it by raking leaves and picking up trash (where all my friends could see me!) until I had worked the number of hours the money was worth. I never did it again and remember it to this day!

    Answer by Emuu at 7:53 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • She does need to pay it back through chores that maybe she normally wouldn't do on top of the chores she may do. And add damages to the payback making it double what she took so she can realize just how bad stealing can suck. She also should lose stuff that she loves most for a longer period each time she does it.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 8:18 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Take EVERYTHING away but her bed. No clothes (you give them to her to get dressed), nothing. She has to earn it back piece by piece. She does EXTRA chores to pay off what she stole, if she bought something with the money she stole, it goes back to the store for a refund and the person she stole from gets the money. She sells her belongings to pay back the money. She writes an apology letter. She can write a paper on why it is wrong to steal. If none of these work, CALL THE COPS on her the next time she steals. They will scare the crap out of her. Better she get in trouble now than as an adult.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:13 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Whoop her ass! Put a little leather in her life.

    Answer by ICPclwnLOV at 11:48 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I would tell her if this happens ONE more time, I will call the police to come and have a talk with you. If you can do that cool if not, either way. Make her do chores which will be like what a judge does (community service) when she's done put a price on the work she has done and then tell her "I would have paid you $5 (or whatever price) for doing these chores but instead it is going to your child instead (fine and restitution). I mean it, I would totally do that to my son. I also like the "put a little leather in her life" idea.

    Answer by Mamasita98 at 11:59 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Well....what else is happening in the household? I would have to look at the whole picture. Is this your child or your fiance's child? Do the children get along? Whose house is it? What is the sleeping situation? How long have they known each other? Is this part of an adjustment period---and is this girl trying to tell you something? In other words, is this working for the kids and is there anything you can do to help with the transition in living arrangements so that there is no resentment and jealousy among the kids, they all feel that they are being treated fairly, and there are no big discrepancies between what one has and what the other has...that sort of thing. This child may be trying to tell you she has a problem with things...I would look at what the problem might be. That doesn't mean she shouldn't get consequences, but to solve the problem you have to know what it really is.

    Answer by BJoan at 9:33 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

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