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Please help! What can I do to keep my daughter safe?

Today my three year old daughter told me her half brother, my step son showed her his d*ck. This was after she ended up with no tights on and a button open on her dress. I immediatley asked my stepson what happened and he said they were playing doctor. My husband has come home from work now and he is trying to get answers from my stepson and he has admitted to showing his privates and calling it that word but he says today was the first time ever. My stepson lies so much and I am never going to get the truth out. I feel hopeless. I feel like taking my daughter far, far away. What can I do? I took this boy in a year and a half ago and I feel so stupid now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Jul. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • How old is your step-son?
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 8:31 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • okay there is a greater issue at hand.... why is your stepson doing this? If he is under 5 it is entirely possible he has been abused. If he is over 5 he needs to be spoken with VERY FIRMLY and told that is unacceptable adn you want to know where he learned that behavior. Therapy may even need to be considered. Do NOT leave your daughter alone with ANYONE until you have answers! Have her sleep in bed with you or on a sleeping bag next to you. Do not let her out of your sight for even a moment. Kids do play doctor but it usually doesnt ivolve the showing of privates. Healthy "playing doctor" is giving shots and medicine and hitting each others knees clothes should not be removed that is very unhealthy. Good luck with all this it sounds like a mess
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 8:36 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • he is 8
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • you should also talk to your daughter and see if it has happened before . if it has then there s a serious problem. And if he did touch her inappropriately then she will need some serious counselling

    militarywife20

    Answer by militarywife20 at 8:47 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • you need to have him checked with a forensic psychologist, he may himself be a victim of something and this is how the cycle continues an abuser abuses a victim and then the victim becomes an abuser its how it works. I would not leave your daughter with him ever (at least until he was checked and in therapy) I would also have the forensic psychologist talk to your daughter and make sure nothing has happened worse than what has already happened.

    I know this is scary my daughter was abused by her uncle when she was 5 and she still struggles with the results of that please take a deep breath and call you local child advocacy center or your pediatrician they can direct you with the next step!
    elananme

    Answer by elananme at 8:51 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • He definitely should know better. Maybe no one ever told him what is NOT appropriate. I don't even know what advice to give. All I know is that I would be scared and pissed. Just keep her close to you and don't leave them alone. Consider counseling for him. Good Luck...and sorry you and your daughter have to go through this.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 8:53 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • i would take my daughter and run
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 8:58 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • i would get him help asap theres no way imo that a 8 yr old comes up with that on his own he might have been abused and i wouldn't leave them in a room toghter alone you have to protect your dd
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • get the boy in counseling.... he could be considered a sexual perpetrator... get your daughter into counseling if needed, otherwise talk to her about touching ... and to tell.... she did not do anything wrong so let her know how glad you are she told you... the boy must be addressed ASAP.. if you don't you might be in a world of hurt should he perpetrate on another child and you knew, did nothing... your ability to keep you daughter safe could be in question... your step son needs you to take action... my thoughts are with you ...
    BlessingsBegin

    Answer by BlessingsBegin at 10:01 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • he should definitely know better at 8 than to show his little sister his privates. You need to sit him down and have a talk with him about what is appropriate and what is not. Don't leave them alone together for a while also. There's no reason you should feel stupid for taking him in. Whatever may have happened to him is not his fault, and he needs someone to be understanding but firm and stern with him about the situation. At 8 all kids lie when they think they're gonna be in big trouble.. you just need to make him understand that your not mad at him but what he did is not something you do with other kids, that privates are only for private areas.. when your in private.. etc.
    Good luck!
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 10:07 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

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