Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i break my baby from always having to be held???

I admit i spoil my(will b 3 mos on aug 15) baby, and i knowi shouldnt, but by the time i realized i was doing it, it was too late. This is my first baby, and when he would cry i would pick him up to comfort him. well now i realize the reason i can never put him down is bc i spoiled him. does anyone have any suggestions on how to break this habbit?? ive been trying to put him in his bouncer and play w his toys w him or lay him down and talk to him and TRY tummy time. but nothing really works. i became a stay at home mommy after he was born and now i cant do anything around the house untill after he goes tobed for the night. when he sleeps in the day its never for very long bc when i lay him down he wakes up. plz help

Answer Question

Asked by Bradlees_Mommy at 10:50 PM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • You have to remember that your baby was held for 24 hours a day when you were pregnant even if you held him for 18 hours a day that is still a 25% reduction is his opinion. He will grow to want more independence soon but for the time being it is perfectly normal for him to want to be held. Make sure he is getting lots of tummy time and playtime on the floor but have fun with this time - it goes too too quickly!!

    Answer by psugal at 10:54 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I wish i could help. I never wanted to go through what you are now going through, that is why I did not spoil my son who just turned 1! From the night I brought him home, I always laid him down wide awake and he has always put himself to sleep within minutes and been sleeping 10-12 hours straight since he was 4 months old and only woke once a night b4 that to feed. And he takes a 2 hour nap every afternoon unless we are out and about, and he does not even get fussy then. I guess I got lucky with a low-maintenance baby!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:58 PM on Jul. 24, 2009


    Answer by mummylovebaby at 11:05 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Some babies need to be held more than others SO grab a sling, teach him to sleep in their and hey presto you will be able to get everything done. You cannot spoil a baby... simply not possible. They are all wired differently and have different needs. So I would reccomend giving him what he needs right now so that slowly he can become more independent (in his own time)

    When my DD was that age she would sleep all her naps on me. Sometimes nights too. So I gave her what she needed. The physical closeness and extra attention. Now at 5 months. She sleeps 12 hours at night in her bassinett, 2 naps in her bassinett and 1 on me. She showed me she was ready to be a little more seperate.

    Listen to your baby. It really is the easiest way.

    Is he high need? Check out for the 12 keys to a high need baby

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 11:09 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • You don't spoil babies by holding them. It's a good thing you have a smart baby that cries and lets you know you are supposed to be holding him.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 11:27 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • You can't spoil a baby that young. Trust me, I have a clingy little lady (26 months) but I truly believe that is her nature...she is a loving, caring, eager to give toddler right now and she learned that by having her needs met in terms of being held by me and my husband.

    It can be hard to carry a baby ALL the time, so get a wrap or sling to keep your baby close. Three months is VERY VERY young. Worry about this later, for now enjoy your baby and when it is too much to hold ALL the time, find ways to still make your baby feel connected to you or enlist a friend or family member to help out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • you cant spoil a baby is right! its a baby...but to free up your arms a little bit, i suggest putting him down more often. 5 more minutes one day, 10 more minutes the next. and never feel bad about using the CIO method- cry it out. its good for your baby's lungs and eventually for your peace of mind. obviously, dont be ridiculous with it, but 15-20 minutes isnt gonna hurt the baby. i know its hard to listen to, because i think its just a mothers instinct to wanna calm the baby down and soothe them, but it gets easier on both, you and the baby. good luck momma!

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 11:36 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • have u tried laying him on his side and patting his butt to sleep? im a stay at home mommy too and sometimes u jus gotta do the dishes!! lol
    or ill put a pillow behind him so that he wont roll or anything, or even under his legs so.. he might think hes being held.. for a little while lol

    Answer by Samanthao2006 at 11:50 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • put his favorite blanket on floor and his favorite toys. put him down and sit down next to him and play for a little while and then sit in chair and see how that goes. and each day start out the same but you keep moving farther away.

    Answer by maninblack at 11:55 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • This is not spoiling. That's like saying your husband spoils you by kissing you whenever he comes home.

    Babies are programmed for this. A sling will really help. This is not something you can or should "break" a baby of. In fact, don't think of ever having to "break" an infant of things. You do that with TODDLERS. Babies' wants are their needs. Your arms = security. The babies who are held as needed become the school kids who are happiest to go off to class without clinging to their parents.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:21 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.