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brother and sis-in-law issue what should i do?

ok i have always been really close to my older brother well he married this girl, i told him he was rushing it they were only dating for 2 months, something just did not feel right...okay well about 3 months after they were married i saw a video of her cheating on my brother..and of course i told my brother well ever since then his wife has been treating me like crap i tried to talk to her because of course she is family now and whatever my brother chooses to do i have to live with...well it has been almost a year now and his wife and i just fight all the time but honestly its her that causes it for example the whole family was at a pool party at my parents house well i told my nephew, her step son, not to jump into the pool any more because he was falling alseep and he could hurt himself than she told him dont listen to her you can do whatever you want and thats when i blew up no one from my family backed me upwhatshouldIdo?

Answer Question
 
RIP.Caleb

Asked by RIP.Caleb at 3:20 AM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • just ignore her completly. dont talk to them at all. he'll talk her into comming around or u may have to be distant for a while
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I say avoid her, shes in the wrong even if her or your brother don't want to admit it. Your brother will someday wake up and realize what a snake he has for a wife! It will just take a little time and I'll bet she is still cheating on him!!
    ormom1977

    Answer by ormom1977 at 3:33 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • She sounds like a very vindictive person. What you did was right and she just resents you for that. I would avoid situations and events with her there or at least keep your distance from her and ignore her.
    chocaholic888

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 4:04 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • She's just mad because she got caught doing something that she knows is wrong. I'd ignore her.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:10 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • First off, stop over stepping your boundaries unless you're purposely trying to alienate your brother and his family. Whatever mistakes your siblings make I'm pretty sure they don't want you pointing them out because they already know what they are. I'm the oldest of three so I speak from experience here. I didn't like the guy my sister was planning on marrying because he was bad news but she had to be the one to see for herself his true colors. Anything negative I said of him reflected negatively on her and she took it very personal like I was judging her as well.

    Be a good sister and support your brother whatever good or bad choices he makes. It's his life and he's the one who has to deal with the fall out. Just be there to catch him when he falls, and help dust him off and get back up. He'll love you more for it.
    magoogie

    Answer by magoogie at 8:11 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • mommypip- I've been married twelve years with all sorts of ups and downs during that time. Shit that happened early in our relationship which was a hell of a lot worse that what the op stated is water under the bridge. If my MIL or my sister continued to hold a grudge after all these years, it's their problem not mine. My DH and I are stronger as a couple than we've ever been at this point and have grown tremendously as a couple and as individuals. The problems start to rear their head with people who don't live in our home or see what goes on in our daily lives butt in with their opinions.

    Regardless of her opinion of this woman, she is HIS wife and it's HIS decision whether he wants to put up with her shit or not. The reason her family didn't back her up is because she overstepped her boundaries and they knew it. They can either constantly fight with this woman and have their brother/son never speak to them again or they
    magoogie

    Answer by magoogie at 8:49 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • cont.. or they can try and keep things amicable so they can continue to see their son/brother/nephew. My DH disowned his mother for two years until she decided to accept me as her DIL and the mother of her grandchild. No amount of coaxing on my part to get my DH to change his mind about his mother worked. Ultimately it was his choice to speak to her or not.
    magoogie

    Answer by magoogie at 8:53 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • The reason she's acting the way she is, is because you told him about her cheating. He forgave her, you need to do the same (even tho it's not yours to forgive). Would I have told my brother? No, I don't think I would've.. BUT I likely would've told her that I saw the tape/knew it happened/ask about it because that's what I heard, and told her that as his sister, I have to consider his health/safety and that she has X amount of time to tell him or I'd be forced to. Whether you know it or not, you're still judging her for what she did or you wouldn't have brought it up. She feels that you're never going to forgive her for what she did and that's why she's being like she is. Do they seem happy now? Seriously do you think a child could sleep while jumping in a pool? She prolly thought that sounded as goofy as I did and it irriitates me when people correct my children when I'm right there. Be nice and butt out.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:15 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I have the sister in law from HELL. She RUNS my brothers life from start to finish. We had a graduation party for my youngest last weekend. My brother and his family DID not ATTEND. He lied to everyone and said he had to WORK.. He wasnt working, he was at his BROTHER IN LAW"S GRADUATION party.

    He told my other sister in law, that he hated her husband and didnt feel one bit sorry that he died. Of course that was 2 hours after my sister in law and I watched my older brother die. He has told her that her husbands ashes were either in the cellar or he sold them at a garage sale..

    My ONLY brother, is the only sibling I have left. He is a piece of shit, that is digging his own HOLE. I just hope enjoys it.....

    PestPatti

    Answer by PestPatti at 9:19 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I agree with what magpole and lisa ann have to say. My brother is dating a real loser and she's cheated on him. No one in the family likes her but we're polite to her because it's really none of our business. He knows how we feel and he chooses to put up with her crap. There's nothing more we can do. Being rude to her would do nothing but make him avoid us altogether.
    Your family probably didn't back you up because you blew up at her and to me it sounds like you were the one causing the scene. Plus I'm with lisa ann - who falls asleep while jumping in a pool?
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:32 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

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