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his sex drive sucks. what should i do?

when we were first married, we would have sex at least 3-4 times a week. well, 5 years into it and now it's down to 1 time a week. from the start he's told me that he doesn't want it as much as i do. i used to try to start sex but have been turned down before so i don't bother anymore. he really doesn't have any sympathy when i tell him i want it more than i get it. he's got diabetes and it might be low testosterone but we don't know that for sure. i know he's not cheating, we are together all the time when he's not working. he's very affectionate otherwise, just not the passionate "i want you" type of affectionate.
it really makes me feel unattractive and leaves me feeling needy. it also makes me feel like the one time i do get it a week that it's out of pity.
what would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I think couples therapy may be helpful. If you're feeling unattractive and needy, that's not just about sex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Health problems can cause this. Do you love him enough to accept that? If not then you are the one with the problem not him. We have very little sex & my drive is very high. There are numerous reasons why but I do know he has not cheated on me. It is frustrating but the more you focus on it the less responsive he will be. Have him read the article on Family Life Today in the February issue it addresses why wives need sex. Let him know that you are not laying a guilt trip on him but you just want him to understand why this is hard for you. Have fun in other ways & work on deep intimacy instead of sex. Maybe he will get to the point of trying Viagra. As you age, you will eventually want sex less (usually after 50).

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • The diabetes is a major factor I'm sure. It can give men erectile dysfunction and they can't stay hard enough to do what he knows you want him to do.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:43 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Wow I have no clue wat 2 say! In my case the shoe is on the other foothe wants it all the time & I don't! I don't even understand y.... I just don't feel sexy or attractive & the sex to him is great but to me its wack I wanna try diffrent approaches but don't even know were to start! Can any 1 help me?

    Answer by jaidah917 at 4:48 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

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