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Stepdad or Stepmom

Just curious, how many of you think that stepmoms have a little worse than stepdads? I am a stepmom and I think is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had to do and I tell my hubby that, but, he says he had it bad too in his previous marriage. I still don't think he quite understands my perspective and why I think it's harder for my as a stepmom than for him as a stepdad.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (5)
  • I think they both have it difficult. I don't think you can say one has it worse than another.

    Answer by Petie at 12:33 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • It's really not a contest. It's something, I, personally, never wanted to get involved in. I commend those that can do it honestly and faithfully though. To me, no matter how hard I would try, I would still always favor my own children. But that is my personal choice and one which I made and realized before it ever came to that.

    I would say it would definitely take a commitment from both of you to do. Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I personally do not believe in the term "stepmom" or "stepdad" I believe that children only have a mom and a dad and after that you become a "family". My daughter calls my fiance by his name and refers to him as Jose and I'm fine with that. But as to who has it harder I believe being a "stepmom" or a "stepdad" is a very hard task and takes alot of effort to be accepted by the others children as such so it's double the work. I do not agree on a comment about favoring someones biological child over their spouses biological child I believe both should be accepted and treated equally otherwise you should not form a family because a family should be composed as equal as far as the children go, it's very detrimental to children when they notice favortism  in their home.


    Answer by Hurtnlostmom at 6:53 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • To tell the truth I just met my new step-mom a few days ago. My dad just got remarried. I found my step-dad for my mom. And this is weird but I didnt get along with my step-dad at first and I couldnt stand to live with him. I really like my new step-mom, but of course Im older and am not jelous or as immature. Generally the kid is angry because their parents couldnt stick it out and wants to take it out on somebody. The best thing to do is to NOT feel sorry for yourself, and to NOT take it personally. You will be more respected and feel better later if you can not just try but DO understand that the little guys are hurting over all of this, no matter how viscious they may seem. I hope the best for you, keep your cool cool cool. Just say that in your head, or out loud if you want... cool cool cool Im cool.

    Answer by Hollytree at 1:23 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I think both step moms and step dads have it equally as hard because they have to connect to children that are not biologically their children. When trying to discipline the children, it is all too easy in today's times for the child to say, "You aren't my mom." "You aren't my dad." or "You aren't my parent." and get away with it. Teen attitudes are often overlooked and consequences inconsistent due to the great deal of guilt, bad feelings, or busy schedules that children are not learning the lessons in respect that used to be taught in the earlier generations, and the consequences are not consistent either so children get the message that he/she can "get away with it" when he/she does something wrong and doesn't get caught or punished.

    Answer by anngie at 8:47 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

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