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My DH gets frustrated that I take advice from other mom's here on Cafemom.

I don't know why he does, but I don't have actual friends with babies. Any one elses SO get frustrated too? LOL, I just think its funny he does.

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ABPeterson

Asked by ABPeterson at 12:44 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,580 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • My fiance doesn't get mad at me for getting on here. He thinks it's good trying to get advice from other moms and soon to be moms. There is no reason for anyone to get mad. You can get advice from other moms just not have to listen to the advice on some of them.
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 12:51 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • well...some of the advice you get here is pretty weird. Overall you can get some good advice or information, but you still have to make up your own mind and verify things. Maybe he gets irritated because you turn to strangers instead of him. Next time he wants to do guy stuff tell him you are frustrated that he doesn't do this with you instead. He'll get the point.
    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 12:56 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Its not funny, really. Any advice you ask about from Money to Work to Raising your child can really end up being a huge issue. Yes, its nice to have a sounding board, but if we are telling you the same thing he's already told you. He could go from frustrated to resentful to flat out angry, especially if he's usually correct. Because basically what you are saying, in his mind, is that you don't "respect" his intelligence, experience, or opinions. Its dangerous territory.

    Now, I know that's not how it seems to you, but my DH is the same. He hates whenever I ask for advice because he deems that when I ask for advice, I want a specific plan and I should follow what he's said. What I want is opinions so I can make my own informed decisions from there. DH doesn't see it that way, its me listening to someone else and not valuing him. Put yourself in his place, how would you feel?
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 12:59 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • What specifically is he upset about? What advice have you taken that he doesnt agree with? I agree there is some crazy and definitely confilicting advice on here so you have to weigh out the good with the bad, but generally you should go with yourown gut iinstinct. I have had 4 kids so its likely I could help you, but theres going to be people that totally disagree with me. I hope that you dont make ALL of your decisions based on advice from a cafemommer....surely you dont need that much advice. I think he probably would rather you think for yourself so that he doesnt feel like youre so gullible. He might be concerned that someone will steer you wrong or maybe he is jealous.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:14 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • No my husband does not get upset at the sources for assistance. Hey, it takes a villiage. But you know that he gets upset. So a word to the wise: just ask anonymously and don't tell him you are taking advice from mom's on this site. Personally I do think it is a little strange. I mean you have the ability to weed out the bad advice from the good. What I think I would be most offended at is that my partner is saying I have bad judgement and that I am somehow not doing right by my child. And for that I would tell him that he is welcome to give some suggestion or better yet - he can deal with it directly and he can be the one to try his methods. I'm sure you are a wonderful mom but if he is truly upset that is a little strange.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:25 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • No, it doesn't bother him either way.

    If it ever did, though, I'd tell him to get bent.
    AMom29

    Answer by AMom29 at 1:46 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • My husband has told me to come on and ask questions. We had a problem with travelocity. He wanted me to come on here and warn everyone not to use them. I never did it but he thinks it is fine.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 3:16 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • It really depends on why he is upset. Is he upset because you ask on here INSTEAD of talking to him about it first? Is it because you ask him, disagree then come on here to prove him wrong? Do you ask questions on here and then say, "Well they said X so that's what we're doing" basically laying it down as we are telling you what to do and he gets no say? I can see a number of reasons he could be upset.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 4:52 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Well, if you're getting bad advice here, which is highly likely given some of the garbage I've read, I could see why he would be frustrated. Now if you are getting good advice, it's great that you have experienced mom's to turn to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • The next time he gets frustrated just tell him "women always have the power to advice with high intelligence, so that's why you come here, lol... seriously though perhaps your spending too much time getting advice here and he feels left out , poor guys they always crave attention it's like having another child, lmao!
    Hurtnlostmom

    Answer by Hurtnlostmom at 6:22 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

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