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Does this make me a terrible mom? Anyone else feel/felt this way?

I am pregnant with my second daughter. I am excited about having her but its nothing like when I had my first. With my first I loved playing with her while in my belly. She would push out and I push her back or putting my hand in one spot until she kicked it. I felt like we had a really strong bond before she was even born. With this one I don't feel connected like I did with my first. I feel terrible for thinking that way. Has or does anyone feel this way too? I feel so awful about it but I can't change the way I feel.

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MizAnn

Asked by MizAnn at 1:50 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I felt that way with my first and really bonded with my second. Its just a feeling and its not the truth. You know you love her. Just wait until shes born and dont put too much stock in your hormonal pregnancy feelings. You will love her just as much as your first. I promise.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:53 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I don't think you're a terrible mom. Do you feel like you won't love the 2nd one as much because you love the first one so much and have a strong bond? That could be, sub-conciously, what's making you feel like you aren't as connected.
    Or was the 2nd one a surprise or maybe you're stressed out financially?
    Even if you don't feel such a strong bond now, I bet as soon as you see that baby come out, you'll feel a whole new flood of emotions. Even if it takes some time to bond with the 2nd baby, eventually you will, and I bet it will be strong. Good luck!
    jmpeskie

    Answer by jmpeskie at 1:55 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I felt this way with my second and even more with my third.. but I think with my first I had the time to sit around and play with him , with my second I would still try and connect with her when she kicked but I was also very busy ( and tired ) with this one Im even more tired and busy so those bonding moments are even more spread out.. while my love for each is a different as they are- I love them all equally... The fact that you even question this shows what a good mama you are =)

    RippledBegonias

    Answer by RippledBegonias at 4:32 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • You are not a bad mother. I am also pregnant with my second daughter and I don't do all the things I did with my first. I read to my first in the womb and talked to her and all that stuff, with this one I don't do any of that stuff. I feel kind of guilty, but on the other hand I didn't have another child to focus on like I do now. I am waiting for her to born and I am pretty confident we will have a strong bond. Don't worry, I am sure once you see your new little girl you guys will connect.

    lilysmom2607

    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

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