Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone else not like sex?

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and together for 9. We have a wonderful relationship and love each other so much. The only problem is I hate sex. Its never gotten any better for me over the years. No matter how much or how little we do it, it still hurts in the beginning, and then after the initial pain, it just like friction. Like an unfcomfortable rubbing. It does not feel good at all. I only do it because I know he likes it. I had a break down last night during it because I just felt so bad I hated it so much. We do "mess around" several times a week, and thats better. Its just the actual sex that I don't like. He says its perfectly fine, and he just wants me to be happy. I still feel like something's wrong with me. Anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You need to talk to your doctor.  It could be a side effect from a medication you are taking or a physical problem.


    Answer by beeky at 2:06 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I would talk to you dr and look into why it hurts. Are you using lubrication? Are you able to masturbate and reach orgasm alone? I would do some more investigation - sex should be enjoyable.

    Answer by missanc at 2:17 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I hate sex too but I was sexually abused and I've had a hysterectomy. Have you tried using KY lubricants to do away with the frictions feeling.  I get that feeling too and we got KY warming and it works well.  If you ever want someone to talk to just PM me.  I know how you feel trust me.


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 2:19 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I am now 42 and found that I need to use k-y. If I don't it hurts so it may be something simple but it sounds like it is more. Talk with your doctor.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 2:25 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • have you gone to the doctor to see why it hurts? It could be something physically wrong with you or hormone imbalance causing it (most likely the later of the two). The fix for that is extremely easy.

    Answer by cat1622 at 2:47 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I also need lube like KY. My story is a lot like what luvmygrlz describes. I also need to be emotionally prepared for sex. Maybe it's just me. But the more stress or worry I am under, the less likely I am to want anything to do with it. Sometimes it helps me to think to myself throughout the day that this is the night and sort of prepare, unwind, relax.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I go in spurts......right now is the time my hubby says "not again you're killing me i just need sleep"

    Other times I hate it. If it is physically painful though I agree with the other posters. See your dr maybe he/she can help!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • i'm against having sex for now, becasue my husband and i seem to be on different pages on love and how our marriage should be going and what is not ok for us to be doing. i understand that i'm insecure and need to relax but he thinks that he is perfect, so sex is something taht is not happening for us, anytime soon. but i think you should see a doctor. it's normal not to like sex, but sex is a nature and normal activity that people have, you should like teh actual sex part, at least a few times.

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 4:34 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Well I must be a freak of nature because I had a partial hysterectomy 8 years ago, am now going through menopause and I love sex.  The older I get the more my sex drive increases.


    Answer by beeky at 6:43 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • op here- hm, sounds like I need to talk to my dr. But its always been like this- ever since I started having sex. Maybe we'll try the KY- but, even when we've used it before, its still uncomfortable- at that point its like a wet thing going in and out lol. Still annoying (but doesn't hurt). I must just be weird, I don't know. I've always been nervous to talk to my dr about it though- but I guess it has to be done. I wish wish wish so bad I liked it. It would make it so much easier! I am just glad my husband is okay with it- at least thats what he tells me- and I believe him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.