Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is this normal behavior for a 6 year old? Help!

My 6 year old daughter is so emotional, irritable (hot one minute, cold the next), moody. Nothing seems to make her happy. She complains about EVERYTHING! What am I doing wrong? I try to do things to make her happy. She can not always have her way. I have taken her to counseling...we are getting no where with that. I divorced last year and she gives me all the grief (I am the good one). Her daddy doesn't pay child support or do anything for her and she is so respectful of him. What can I do to get respect from this child? She sounds like she's 14 smart mouthing me. I just can not take it anymore. The other 3 children look up to her cause she is the oldest. My baby is going through the terrible 2's at the same time as this. That is enough to have to deal with than to have to fight with her. Any advice how i can get control back and get respect?

Answer Question

Asked by KRYSTALxoxo at 2:25 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Ugh, this is tough because you know she struggles with the divorce. Have you put your foot down when she's back talking or being disrespectful? Do you take away priviledges or send her to her room? What does the counselor say? You may need to be really frank with her and honest and tell her that your raising other kids and you can't always put up with her emotional mess. Or have you done the opposite and tried really loving her? Sometimes all they need is to know it'll all be okay. I don't know but good luck.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:10 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I have a friend that is experiencing a similar problem. She has a 7year old (other older girls) and a 4year old. She is also recently (not quite a year) separated from her husband. Her 7year old is very demanding and very emotional. From what I see (we are very close, like family) she is playing her mom. She is feeding off the tantrums that the 4 year old throws and is a terror (only half the time) when she is with mom. Dad, on the other hand, you would think was a saint with how she acts with him. Part of the problem, Mom is still mom and has the same rules as always. Dad on the other hand is playing the sympothy card. He gives her things that aren't desirved, lets her do what ever even if she is not behaving. He's trying to "win her over".
    In the long run, mom will prevail. You can't "buy" your child's love. Be strong and stick to your guns! It will pay off eventually!! Good luck!!

    Answer by DirtyMonkey at 3:43 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • what ever you are trying do the oppisite because what your doing isnt working. So what if she doesnt like you for a while you know she loves you and you love her. Just because your not going to put up with the attitude doesnt mean that you dont love her.
    I would sit her down at the table one night after you put the others to bed so there is no distractions. Tell her why you got divorced, dont try to bad mouth her father EVER it will only make it worse. But then let her know that you love her and want her to be happy but you and her father are not going to get back together and if her actions are her way of trying to say i want it back the way it was wich is probably the case here. Tell her she can fight and whine all she wants but its not going to happen. If she has a tv in her room remove it now, let her know that she cant have it until she stops acting like a baby because babies dont have tvs in their room same with

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • computers or any thing else. when you take all of it away you will see her start acting right. put a time limit on it. say 1 week of no attitude you can have one item back and 1 item a week she goes with out attiude she can have. but if it starts all over again take it away. the one she most likes take it first. and the time starts over.
    it might sound harsh or mean but it might be the only way to get through to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • My daughter went threw years of counseling. One thing I learned is that mothers love in unconditional. The parent they arent with is generally the "fun parent". The one that is fun and games but NO stability. Kids will take there frustrations out on you the stable parent, the parent with rules and stability. The parent that makes them brush there teeth, get good grades and make there beds. They know that the bed will always be there. They know YOU will always be there. Its easier to take there frustrations out on you then Dad that they love and want him to love them. Stand your ground, let her know that you will always love her but bad behavior is not part of the deal and wont be tolerated. Its okay to be disappointed and frustrated but you are not the bad guy. Remember she is six. This is hard to I know from experience. Stay strong, be consistant and remember to notice the good girl too :) Best Of Luck!

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:44 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Sounds like through all of this she knows that you are the one that she can count on so you are the one that she can let her frustrations out on and you will still be there. She is most likely respectful of her dad because he isn't around much and she is scared he won't come back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.