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When do you drawn the line at your husband helping out a female friend?

My husband seems to always be helping out two women from work with financial problems and other things for their children. He does not hide it from me, if I ask he tells me but otherwise I find out because I am balancing the check book.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Eeeek that sounds a bit strange! I would never let my husband help n e 1 other than family out with a financial situation and even then u get everything in writing
    kirsty_mcgrail

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 2:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Uh, I'd blow open this discussion and lay it on the table asking how long he intends to do this.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 2:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • You need to tell him that from now on he needs to run it by you first. It is BOTH of your money and when it comes to helping people out financially you should have a say in the matter, especially when it is other women. I dont think I would like that at all.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 2:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • i draw the line when it comes to the FEMALE friend...my hubby wouldnt even think to help a girl out!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • maybe he's paying them to keep their mouths shut. Maybe the kids are really his illigitamet kids! Oh my...these are things that would run through my head if that ever happened. I would not stand for that. Why help these other women out? I don't agree with helping out someone else financially unless these women were suffering abuse or their children were abused & that issomething that my SO would tell me right away so we could make a decision together on how to help. you can help someone w/o opening your wallet & handing them cash.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I would be okay with it, just so long as we talked about it first to see how WE as a couple are helping them beforehand. I would not be okay finding out later while balancing the checkbook. I have no problem at all helping those that need it, I would definitely want to be a part of the decision making process.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • The are not his children. THey are to old and he did not even know them then...but one is pregnant and the other had a baby last year...so that is questionable. We have talk about it and he is obviously going to say nothing is going on. I have always told him he can leave anytime he wants.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • If it happens a lot then a line needs to be drawn. Normally I'd say heck no not at all but there was a time i desperately needed money to rent a home for me and my kids. A co worker offered to lend me the money until pay day. I'll never forget his kindness. He never asked anything in return for what he did. He even came over and made needed repairs but I never pushed the boundaries of what it was. To this day I give thanks for that wonderful gesture. Nothing was out of line. I repaid him payday and never imposed on him again. If they push it and keep asking then they are taking advantage of him. Please tell him to not allow that. That is just disrespecting him. He deserves better than that. He's not a bank. He's a co worker. They need to be reminded of that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:03 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • If one woman is pregnant than why doesn't she get money from the child's father. Sounds odd to me and like others said. I WOULD RAISE HELL!! Yes, it does sound fishy. Some people at my husband's job has borrowed some money from him BUT they were MALE co-workers. I think its time to have a long and deep convo with your husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • The pregnant woman just got married a month ago and the other one lives with the father but they are just friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

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