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How do i get my boyfriends mother to come around and see her granddaughter?

ok so i went into labor 6 wks early & my daughter was born 6 wks premature & in the hospital for 2 wks weighing 3lbs 15.8oz & she had jondice & she was in an incubator for a week in a half. they didnt know if she was going to make it & they had childrens hospital on stand by & childrens doctors there at the hospital. thank God she made it & she didnt have to be transported out. neways my boyfriends mother hardly came out to see her i have no pictures of them too together. my boyfriend has another child a son who is 7 by his ex wife. and my bf mother has everything to do with her 3 other grandkids & this is her 1st granddaughter. she has seen her not even 5 times since she was born & she 5 months old. she always wants to see & calls & checks on his son but never lilly. she always makes excuses y she doesnt come & see her. i dnt know what to do im pissed off & i want to write a letter. please help we've tried evrything. dnt knw

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Asked by sparkyfirst09 at 5:09 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • does she not like you? if she likes you and was around before the baby was born, maybe shes afraid something will still happen to her grand daughter and doesn't want to get close to her. if she doesn't like you, maybe its her way of being mean to her son since she doesn't like you, by holding back on seeing his daughter, she thinks it will influence his decision to be with you.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:15 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • My MIL is a lot like that too. Why dont you invite her over for dinner or lunch or something? I understand that you want your baby to have that close relationship with her grandma too. Its not right and not fair but I would start with having the woman over if that dosent work you should have your boyfriend talk to her and ask whats going on.

    Answer by stickyfingers at 5:15 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Write the letter I find writing is very effective!

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 5:21 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • It's her loss, apart from attempting to find ways to make her come over there is nothing you can do. and, TRUST ME, it will get old trying to do so and it will overwhelm you. Just remind yourself it is not you, it's HER. My DH's dad is this way and I couldn't give a shit less anymore if he ever sees his grandkids again...and I recently told him how I felt and that he was not needed in their life and since he chose not to be a part of their lives in the first place...and I gave him 8 solid years of chances...that we don't want him involved either. (We have lived in the house we bought for 7 years, right on his way home from work...NEVER stopped to see the girls, he dropped my SIL off here one night to spend the night with her nieces and never ever so much as popped his worthless, selfish head in the door to tell them hi, and on my oldest daughter's 1st birthday he was unsure he was going to attend...watching football instead)

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • If she's old fashioned it might bother her that the child was born out of wedlock. if that isn't an issue she might feel like she's betraying the other grandkids that she's already bonded with. Then again she may not like being around tiny babies. Give her time. She'll come around. It might not be until the child is older and she can actually play and have fun with the child (2 and up). Hang in there.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:54 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • What does your babyfriend say? It's his baby and his mother. It should be a lot his responsibility.

    She may have some questions about why you aren't married. She may wonder if the baby is even her son's child, her grandchild.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 7:16 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Consider yourself lucky that you don't have to deal with her. It's HER loss. Your daughter is better off NOT having a relationship with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Its my mom she did not like me as a child and I used to send her tickets when we lived in Arizona and she would never ome. Some people do not want to be bothered after a while she is either going to come around on her own you will not be able to make her and if you do it will not be pleasant like someone else said it will be her loss!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:03 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

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