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Am I crazy for thinking I can do all this?

So my original plan was to be a stay at home mom and take a few classes at the community college so that I could raise my daughter (who is currently 7 months old ) and go to school part time. So back in May I signed up for 3 classes which are all paid for in full. Now I'm starting to realize how badly we need a second income, so I really need to start working. I have no family or friends that can watch DD during the day while I am at work and we can not afford daycare so I think I'm going to pick up a third shift job. If I can find a sleep position at a group home that would be great, but I'm not counting on it. Am I completely insane for thinking that I can raise my daughter, take night classes, and work third shift? I'm really afraid of getting physically worn out very quickly, but I don't see any other way.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (9)
  • Could you drop a couple classes and get a refund before the semester starts? I would try to keep at least one going while working. Its tough, but I would ease in slowly and see what you can handle before you realize one day you can't handle any of it and wind up quitting.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • It's really hard to work third shift. My son has worked third shift for a year and a half and has never gotten used to it. He lives with me and has no other responsibilities.

    Your baby is only a baby once. Maybe you could do with less money, put up a sign at school and do some part time child care for other students, or sell some stuff.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 8:29 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Have you thought about working from home? There are lots of little jobs that you could do to earn money at home. Maybe that would make up the difference in your finances.

    Answer by KaceesMom at 8:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • You can not do it all and be all things to everyone. It is hard. But you have to preserve your sanity and do some self care. If I were you: I would take only one class at a time or two at the most. Work part time only and try to find an affordable babysitter. If you are enrolled in school there are several great things to try. Usually a college campus has affordable daycare for students. Or advertise to swap care with another mom. So when you are in class she watches your child and when she is in class you do the same. No money exchanges hands. You could also watch one or two children during the day in your home and go to school in the evening. OR you could do the mom swap as posted above during the day and watch a child/children in the evening for a mom who works a night shift. Trying to find affordable night sitters is very hard. You would be doing a great service to do that.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:01 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Us moms do whatever we have to do for our children. If you feel you have to do this, then do it. Just tell yourself you can and will do what you need to do!

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:32 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Is their anyway you can drop the classes & get reimbursed? That's going to be so hard on you & when will you have time to study & pass the classes? I know it will majory suck if you just t ake the loss of the classes if you really have to go back to work, you will be a better mother & wife otherwise your just going to be overwhelmed. Good Luck :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • First off, no one knows if you can do it but you. I am a single mom of 4 (14,13,10, and 7) I do not have help from their dad, because he lives 3000 miles away. I take 1 class and I work 3rd shift. I am not going to paint it a pretty picture, because its not. It is tough and some people never get used to it some don't. I for one have not but as for what robinann5 said "we moms do whatever we have to". As far as finding a sleeping position, good luck with that. I've never heard of one but then again who knows.

    Answer by craftykidsclub at 4:18 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Trust me on this: your daughter will need you around much more between 11 and 17, than she does now. If you can manage it, finish school now, get your career started, so you will have some work flexibility later, when your daughter really needs you.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:25 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I was really lucky on this. I was a working mom from the beginning. At first I had to rely on social services to find subsidized care for my daughter. They found me a very clean family that took care of only two kids, mine and another baby.

    As my daughter grew up, my daughter was able to stay at another mom's house. In return the mom's daughters and my daughter formed a sisterhood. I gave money for food and other expenses.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 9:49 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

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