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Any similar experiences?

Ok, this happened 2 years ago but I can't help but hold it against my husband. After I had my son I was in severe pain because I had a bad episiotomy. While we were in the hospital my husband got sick and complained the entire time. I was sitting there like "hello-I have like 100 stitches and you're complaining?" To make matters worse his mom petted all over him while I'm laying there in pain. Also, when we went home I got the baby blues really badly and I wanted to go stay with my parents (who live like 5 min. away) because I was just so depressed. He went but not without pouting the entire time. We had to go home before I was emotionally (and physically) ready to do it on my own. He's matured alot since then but I still get so mad when I think of this! Can anyone else identify with this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Yap my hubby never helped me at all. He wouldnt even hold my leg while I pushed and when we came home and the baby would wake I would ask him to get her so I could feed her and he would bitch at me! She wasnt even a week old and he went out for 5 hours in the night with friends.
    kirsty_mcgrail

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 10:10 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • It's because he is a man. He is probably also in his 20s. I had pulmonary emboli in both my lungs, it's painful and I could have died. I'm allergic to pain pills. Every time my 25 year old son came to see me at the hospital he complained about how tired he was from his job (not that hard of job) and how bad his knee hurt. It really irritated one of my other sons who doesn't have this fault.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 10:13 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • I wonder if it is their way of dealing with stress. The more stresses we have, the less tolerance we have to pain and upset. I wonder if it actually shows the extent of their worry about you, that their own aches and worries seem magnified, and they love you so much that it doesn't occur to them to not talk about their discomforts.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:17 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Sometimes I think about dumb things my DH has done in the past but you just have to try to look forward or you will go crazy. The past is past and he can't change it. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Bitter...yea I've got that. DH wouldn't stay with me in the hospital after I had my son. I spend 48 hours in the hospital alone. He would come for 2 or 3 hours to visit during the day and then he'd leave. He said he was uncomfortable and wanted to sleep in his own bed. Yea like I was real comfortable being 21, a first time mother (he has 2 other kids from a previous marriage), and in a hospital alone. Our son just turned 3 last month and DH hasn't once gotten up in the middle of the night when our son wakes up or gets sick. He also decided to help a friend work on a car 1 week after our son was born and would get off work at 5pm and wouldn't come home until 1 or 2am after I'd already gone to sleep. He was raised to believe that a mother should do the hard and dirty work with the kids and the father should be the fun parent and he fully believes this.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 11:45 PM on Jul. 25, 2009

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