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i used to have pride..

ok so i used to be a free spirit strong willed lady.. my dad was abusive when mad he would yell grab me by my hair but i forgave him and we moved on with that chapter of my life, and was happy.. then i got with my hubby been with him for past 4 years and he put me in the hospital once ruptured my eardrum., hit pushed me when pregnant, hit me while driving with baby in the car, and i know i dont make it easy cause im a smartass when pissed i hit below the belt verbally, but i want to leave but im scared haven't worked in 2 years.. why cant i get the strength to leave, i don't have my parents support which makes it harder but idk why i cant leave.. i know its a dead end relationship.. by why the heck cant i seem to do it... i threaten him with it but just never follow through i hate myself for not being strong he also cheated on me 3 times and is mad cause i wont swing with him , hate me for staying.. why cant i just leave!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Jul. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • it's understandable that you're scared.... you're scared you can't provide for your child, but the "mama" in you will not let you fail, you have it in you to do it on your own but you have to believe it too
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 12:20 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I am not sure where you live but look into the women's abuse shelters around you. I am not a mom - I am a Kindergarten teacher, however; I do know from past relationships how this works. It isn't going to get any better - therapy maybe but there is NO excuse for that. If I knew were you lived I'd come and get you now! I know our Womens Shelter is off the hook and private and safe.
    NLAnnabel

    Answer by NLAnnabel at 12:29 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Ugh, Where do you live? I will come over and get you. God I so understand you. While I've never been in a physically abusive relationship (my mom was), I've been in relationships that drained me to the point where I just didn't have the strength to end them... I eventually did and just rebuilt my self esteem and confidence (took some time), but I am so much stronger now. Take a deep breath. You can't leave because it's overwhelming, very scary and perfectly normal for you to feel like this. Don't hate yourself. It's not your fault. Please look at local shelters, call them and let them help you. They can help you find a job, counseling, housing, etc. Please don't stay with this man another night. Please call and get out as soon as possible.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 12:30 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Although we admit we are in an abusive relationship, it is another thing to actually do something about it..it isn't easy. You have a child....that needs to be your motivation to leave. If he hits you when he's angry, he WILL eventually hit your child...do you have to wait for that to happen??

    There is only one thing you need to do now....CALL your local Women's Crisis Center...they are great...they will help you get away from him, you don't need money, a job, anything at this point. Just please call them. They can help you decide if you want to leave, how to leave, what to take with you, when to leave..every single step of the way. They can put you in a shelter if needed...they are nice places, with just woman and children. They can then help you plan your life from that point. The first step is CALLING....
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:42 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • You don't have self esteem. You were told while growing up you weren't worth anything and now your husbabnd tells you the same thing. You believe it. How can you leave and make it on your own if you aren't worth anything. If you do leave you will probably find another man just like your husband and be sleeping with him in a few weeks or months.

    You need counseling.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 1:09 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Girl move on you can do it. Its obvious this man is sick. See you need to meet me and i can teach you a thing or two and have this man terrified of you. I'm not about violence but cook some grits on the stove and ask if he want breakfast, if he say yes, throw the hot grits on his lap. Just joking, don't go catch a case on my part, just move on you can do it.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:21 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

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