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My transgender EX HUSBAND makes our girls call him MOMMY!!!

So, I read another question about how you would feel if your kids called gramma mommy. Well my ex husband has changed into a woman (although not his genitals) he is legally considered a female and when he has our girls (7 and 5) for the summer, he makes them call him mommy, she, her..whatever. When they talk about me, they have to call me by my name. When I'm on the phone with them they still call him mommy and I HATE it. He refuses to let them call my husband Daddy and he's been here for 4 years. Now, I don't discriminate or dislike transgenders by any means...but seriously????? This is NOT ok. I've asked my girls to stop but they are afraid of getting in trouble. Now what?

 
4littlepiggies4

Asked by 4littlepiggies4 at 12:32 AM on Jul. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • Is it possible for you to have a conversation with your ex? If you can both be civil to each other I would let her know that your girls are uncomfortable calling her Mommy. Despite the fact that he is now a she, HE is their FATHER, YOU are their MOTHER. Let her know that you understand that with his new identity she is uncomfortable with the masculine label of Daddy, so for everyone's sake you would prefer that he goes by Cammie.

    I would have a very difficult time with this if this were to happen to me. Hopefully he/she understands that making the children comfortable should be the number one priority.
    Also look into maybe a support grout or counselor for your children to help them adjust,

    http://www.transparentcy.org/
    Cassieniccole

    Answer by Cassieniccole at 12:57 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • idk but i feel so sorry for your kids, they are going to be confused!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • What would you have them call her?
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:34 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Take him to court, see if they will only allow supervised visits, so they are not alone with him. Then, just teach them he is very confused and let them try to muddle through the best they can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I would have them call *her* Cammie. The name *she* gave herself. I don't feel like its fair to take the title of mommy away from me and give it to the person who is only around when convinient. I am mommy, I carried them for 9 months and had c-sections. I am mommy...not that repulsive excuse for a person. It makes me sick.
    4littlepiggies4

    Answer by 4littlepiggies4 at 12:36 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Take him to court, see if they will only allow supervised visits, so they are not alone with him. Then, just teach them he is very confused and let them try to muddle through the best they can.

    If it was that easy I would!! In a heartbeat. But we are in different states, so supervised would be impossible. When we finally get back to being in the same state I will go to court, I've already got my papers ready! I'm going to let the judge know just how much he's confusing and hurting our children.
    4littlepiggies4

    Answer by 4littlepiggies4 at 12:38 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I would think as adults you both would have taken everything into consideration before subjecting your innocent children to all of this. Yes it's good for children to love people no matter what but when they have to call daddy mommy and mommy by her first name you have to know you're doing some sort of damage... I would take them to see a counselor so they can vent their feelings without the worry of hurting Mommy or Daddy, who ever that is....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Answered at 9:38 PM on Jul. 25, 2009 by: Anonymous
    I would think as adults you both would have taken everything into consideration before subjecting your innocent children to all of this. Yes it's good for children to love people no matter what but when they have to call daddy mommy and mommy by her first name you have to know you're doing some sort of damage... I would take them to see a counselor so they can vent their feelings without the worry of hurting Mommy or Daddy, who ever that is....

    This entire change happened while he had the girls, he sat down and told them what he was doing and in turn, subjected them to this. My girls are the ones who told me that daddy was going to be a girl. I would have never done this to my girls.
    4littlepiggies4

    Answer by 4littlepiggies4 at 12:41 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • He chose to live his life as a woman but he will never be there mom and for him to do that to your kids is just wrong on so many levels. I would be going back to court immediately and getting supervised visits only because he is a lousy parent.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:42 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I personally think its sick to expose a child to such garbage!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

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