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What do I do?

I recently found out that my husband has been unfaithful for the past 8 years. He has kissed countless woman and has had oral sex with some of them. He is going to a 12 step program through advice from out pastor. I am wondering how long is this going to hurt? I feel like most of my thoughts are dedicated to the things he told me he has done.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 AM on Jul. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • sweetie, im so sorry that this has happened to you, you are waaay stronger than me, I would have left..but if you feel you need to stay and fight for what you have/had then God Bless..as for the hurt..each person is different, when my ex did it to me, it took till i found someone else who treated me better. your heart will take its own sweet time to heal, there is no time limit on pain, broken hearts..
    Eveshalloween

    Answer by Eveshalloween at 3:52 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Unfortunately, it took 8 years for you to know about his carrying on and womanizing. I'm not so sure that 12 steps is going to be enough to get him straight. Hopefully, you will be able to make a decision that is the best one for you. Believe it or not time does heal all things. You just have to work in the best direction of healing.
    peacockmom

    Answer by peacockmom at 6:11 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • This will probably hurt for a long time. It's something he did that you will never forget! But you will heal over time. I think it's a good sign that your husbad came to you and disclosed his infidelities and is now seeking help. That is a sign of maturity. Hopefully, he realizes where he has wronged and wants to change to save his marriage. I would suggest sticking it out as long as he continues to get the help and not see other women. Marriage is a commitment fo life! Even though you're hitting a rough patch, try to work it out until you're at the point where there is no way that's possible. Good luck hun! I wish you and your family the best.
    B_Vail

    Answer by B_Vail at 8:34 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I didn't know there was a 12 step program for kissing and oral sex. Thanks to Clinton many men think oral sex isn't sex so you are suffering while he doesn't think he did anything wrong but has to just go to some program. Imagine that. Where is your easy out 12 step program to get over the hurt?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • First go get an HIV test, if its positive, kick his ass out! Sorry just keeping it real! Life is too short to have to deal with crazy ass men who cannot keep their zipper zipped.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:00 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • If its negative, and I hope it is, still kick him out. No woman on this planet should have to deal with that, this is the craziest post I responded to so far. WOW!
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:02 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

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