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I want my DD is respect me, not to be scared of me..

I'm trying to find a middle ground on how I discipline my daughter. I feel I yell to much and I dont spank her often. I have a friend that yells, hits, pulls her DD's hair and her DD is obviously scared of her mom...I dont want my DD to be scared.
The last couple weeks when I try to discipline her she laughs at me and runs away. I put her in time-out and of course the tears come streaming and she starts her "i'm so so sorry mommy". I don't let her out until her time is up but her running away and laughing DRIVES ME CRAZY!!
So any advice on how I can get her to respect me and my wishes...or am I expecting too much from her.
She's 2.5 by the way.
Please no bashing. Just looking for opinions and advice.
Thanks.

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Kam06

Asked by Kam06 at 12:41 PM on Jul. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • First of all your friend is abusing her child! I think for you daughter you have to consider the age. When she is in time out tell her that her time dosent start until she is quiet and after it is over guve her a hug and tell her "we dont hit the cat" or whatever it is. I know its hard when they are that age I am having a problem like that with my almost 2 yr old. If she is getting down from timeout you have to stay there with her. Do you use a timmer so she can hear when her time is over?
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 12:47 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • it's hard to tell if you have the respect of a 2 1/2 yr old for starters. lol Just be consistent with whatever discipline strategies you are using and don't let her see you second guess yourself. When my daughter tests me ( talking throughout the entire punishment.. sitting in timeout and griping the whole time) I don't give in and respond... also don't make eye contact. lol sounds silly but it lets them know that you did what you said you were going to do which is place them in timeout... if after timeout she runs laughing act like you don't notice. Kids crave the reaction to their actions so make a point of not giving too much attention to the actions you don't want repeated.
    mizsaxton

    Answer by mizsaxton at 12:52 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I think you are doing okay. If she is running and laughing she certainly isn't afraid of you. If you stick to the discipline then you are being consistent in discipline. If she cries and says she is sorry then she has a conscience and is showing that she is learning how to behave.She sounds normal for 2.5.


    Is it possible that you are really worried about your friend's daughter and don't know what to do about that? Because you are doing fine with your own. Sounds to me like you are more worried about your friends daughter but are looking for an excuse to step up...you've got one.

    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 12:57 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Your friend is abusive, and your timeouts are exactly right. Kids misbehave; this is part of how they learn. They push limits, they talk back, they mess up their rooms, they want to eat only junkfood, the list goes on.

    As parents, we need to always be consistent with discipline and rewards.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:17 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • COMMUNICATION. Get down and talk to her about what you want. Explain why it's important. Always keep your cool, but firmness. BE CONSISTENT. Give praise for good behavior and explain why that's nice or important too. Including positivity is so important. There's no need for spanking.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 1:25 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • When my girls were that age they did the same thing. And it drove me crazy too. But if I bent down to be eye level and said what needed to be said in what we call the mom voice, they grew to know I was serious. It is hard at that age but stick to what you are doing and she will get it. Your friend is alitlle over the top for me, I know some moms do that but it never worked for me. And I agree with just1jess
    be consistent and firm and always do what you say you will. Never make a threat you can't keep!!!
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 1:31 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Your doing fine. a 2.5 year old has the attention span of a gnat! She will cry when you set her down and be fine when you let her up. You have made your point. Keep it up and remember that time out is 30 sec per half year so 2.5 min for her. She'll get it. I also agree that your friend sounds abusive. No child even a well disciplined one should be scared of their parent.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:52 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Also i recommend the book 123 magic. It has helped a lot with my son. It is no spanking and based on time outs and such.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:53 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Thanks ladies. As we all know kids can get very frusterating. I'll be sure to check that book out But Mommie. I'll keep up what im doing and just hope for the best! Thanks again ladies!

    Kam06

    Answer by Kam06 at 5:35 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I completely understand your frustration!!!! We have recently switched to standing in the corner because spanking and time out weren't working and this seems to do the trick! I think it's because the time out she could still see what was going on because she nosey. But with the corner she can't! I tell her she has to go to the corner and I stand behind her. It's what we've been doing for probably the last month and I think we have finally found a winner. Some people may not agree with standing in the corner but it works for us. Everywhere we go there is a corner somewhere and all I need to do is ask her if she wants to go there and that has been correcting the behavior. I know every child is different but hang in there momma! You're doing a great job!!
    Sonylena

    Answer by Sonylena at 6:12 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

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