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How can I make one twin feel as awesome and the other??

I have one twin that is very outgoing, into sports, and very easily makes friends. The other is very shy, not really into sports, and doesn't make friends as easily. It is so hard to build him up. I get worried he may end up depressed or something like that. Please, any suggestions.

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Asked by Catina12 at 5:04 PM on Jul. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (7)
  • Is there anything that your shy twin does like? Maybe sports aren't for him but something out there will be a good fit. If he is shy, how about a theatre group? There is something very powerful about stepping into the shoes of another person. Maybe art or music or maybe a single sport such as golf or diving rather than a team sport? There are thousands of activities out there. Find something that fits him & it will naturally build him up. Good luck!

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 2:09 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Oh, I agree with PP, and I remember having friends in HS who were twins - one was very outgoing, popular, confident, and the other very insecure, became anorexic. It's hard when your kids are so easily compared! I agree with PP that you should encourage them in whatever activites or interest they have, and avoid having them in the same activities where the shy one is going to be compared to the 'better' one. Suggest different activities, just as you would if they weren't twins. Music is often something that is non-competitve and can build self esteem.

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 12:14 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • um this is a hard one but.... My suggestions are to.... spend some alone time with each one of them and start talking about there likes/dislikes, Hopes/dreams, problems/great things happening ect. I pray that your kids know how much that your love them both equaly and are so willing to help them. What a great mom you are to notice and care so much about your kiddos. Keep looking you will help them to find there own idenity.

    Answer by BlaxicanQueen at 1:57 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • TKD or Karate

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Don't worry about it and don't mention it. Don't dress them alike. Let them be different. If you push him to be more outgoing...thus more like his brother... he will withdraw more. He may be trying to be different. He'll find his niche. My twins were just like this. The "shy" one that was not outgoing ended up being class salutatorian and prom queen.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 2:23 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • P.S. don't discount the idea that the outgoing twin is outgoing - because he feels inferior to his twin.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 2:28 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Try to think of them as siblings rather than "twins" and treat them as two separate individuals....He is more likely to be his own best self if he is not compared to his twin brother.

    Answer by BJoan at 9:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

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