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im freaking out (no bashing)

ok so my man and i have been engaged for 4 months
well last night i went home to spend time with my dad and so he could see my DD
my man went fishing with some friends
and promused me he was not gonna drink
he all ready has a dui
i also told him he need to stop smoking weed and he still aint even tryed
well any way i fouond out he got drunk and was flirting with his sisters best friend
no one will tell me if it went past flirting
and i have no clue wut to do now
im so upset and i feel like someone ripped my heart out
i have no clue what to do
someone please give me advice on what to do
cuz i really love him and iw ould do anything for him so
him doing this to me really hurts

Answer Question
 
19bubbles91

Asked by 19bubbles91 at 6:38 PM on Jul. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • ok look at what you said--already has a dui and smokes weed---are you sure this is what you want around your kid. flirting and drinking usually goes to another level but even if it did not don't you think they both remember it and may act on it later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Love sometimes sees past bad behavior. I hope he does stop the drinking and smoking weed for the sake of his child if nothing else. As for his flirting, it's probably best to think that's all it was and let it go. If he was drunk he probably doesn't remember and others won't tell. Think the best so you don't make yourself sick over it. Tell him not to do it again though. Perhaps next time you can go too and make sure he behaves.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:46 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • he has low standards for his life and low standards as a husband and father
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • i cant go cuz i dont have a babysitter
    19bubbles91

    Answer by 19bubbles91 at 6:48 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I have to agree with answer #1. He has a DUI and smokes weed. He's already broken one promise, how many times will you forgive him before you forget him and move on. Being drunk isn't an excuse, nor would I let it go, as that would allow him to continue the "Oops, I was drunk" behavior. And going out with him next time to make sure he behaves is silly, you're going to be his wife, not his babysitter. I am curious as to why people won't tell you how far the "flirting" went. That tells me it may have gone further. Regardless, if you love this guy, then you really need to put your foot down and tell him that you won't be getting married until his behavior changes and he quits the destructive behavior .
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 6:57 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • i cant go cuz i dont have a babysitter---you need to make yourself an independant woman if not you will be married to this man for your convience and he will end up making you feel miserable. to me engaged and you have a baby means he needs to step up to some responsiblities and forget the parties, drinking, and flirting. this may be the sign you need to get out now unless you really have a heart to heart talk and lay it all on the table of how it is going to be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Even though you think you love him maybe you should rethink him in relation to your child. I don't think I would want someone who smokes weed and drinks that much to be around my child. If he is flirting, even if he didn't go all the way, he might keep thinking about that and want to go back for more flirting until it does turn into something else. If he can't be trusted you won't have a good marriage because you will never be able to trust him. I'm sure you can find someone who will really love you and respect you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Set your feelings aside, your "love" for him. Think of him as your child's father. Is this the man you want in your child's life every day of his/her life. Is he the kind of father you'd want for your child? Just because you feel you "love" a man doesn't make it a good idea to marry him...marriage is way more than love. It doesn't sound like he's ready to be a husband or a father. You have to do what is best for your child first.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 7:22 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I so agree with robinann5, i coulnt have put it any better!! This does not sound like someone you want to marry. if it this bad not it will only get worse!
    evansmom03

    Answer by evansmom03 at 10:36 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Why do you ask for advice when you know every one is going to say leave him? I have told you a hundred times to just break up with him!!.... I love you don't be mad at me for being mean!!!
    iLOVEoctober

    Answer by iLOVEoctober at 2:39 PM on Aug. 1, 2009

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