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Why does my mom do this?

I decided to stay in FL with my parents for a few weeks this summer since we just moved to GA. Anyway she has been totally disrespectful of me toward my authority to the kids. She will not listen to me about food choices. My oldest is a very picky eater, she likes almost anything but if she's not hungry she just won't eat. Almost every night she turns her nose up at her food and I won't cook anything else or give her junkfood to replace it, she won't starve! But my mom hates this. She hates her going to bed on an empty stomach and will make her something else and if she refuses that she'll give her crap food! I've argued with her so many times about this. It's SO rude to me that she does it anyway! I don't know what else to do besides pack up our shit and just go back home!

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 8:12 PM on Jul. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Wow - have you asked your mom about her childhood and why she feels it's so important to feed your children when you've asked her not to? Maybe she grew up poor or underfed or overfed and she's re-living her childhood memories (no consciously) through her grandchildren. I would talk to her about it and try to understand her perspective - who knows, trying to understand her could actually help your relationship out and see if you have any similar patterns in your life that you're unaware of.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:41 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • it is rude
    and i say pack up our shit and go home
    she is teaching your kids to ingnore your authority
    sorry
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:23 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • All I can say to this is ACTONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. Your mom knows she is just going to hear it for a little while and then it will all be over. Do what u need to do and she will get the message.
    milmiracle

    Answer by milmiracle at 8:52 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I have a MIL that is similar. My son really has some real medical/behavioral health issues with eating. We have not figured everything out. We don't ask her to do anything about it except folow our lead. But it just kills her to send him to bed without having had any food. So if that means making Grandma cookies or letting him have cereal bars ect......she just won't stop until he has had her idea of what he needs. I have thrown up my hands and have decided peace is better than a war. It is just not worth it. Don't get me wrong. She is not allowed to undermine my authority. I do take charge and never give up my role as Mom. BUT I know that when we visit grandma's home that he will have more crap and junk than I personally care for. I either do not visit or tolerate it to a point. In your case: ride it out and then limit your visits. Have a talk with your children that grandma likes to spoil but you are in charge.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:56 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I would go home.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:00 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I would forewarn mom that you are going to pack up your shit and go home. She might just open her eyes if she really wants you to stay! GL
    Mamasita98

    Answer by Mamasita98 at 9:12 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • What she says goes cause your in her home. But She is teaching your kids its ok to disrespect you and do as they please and throw fits to get their way. Be nice to your mother and just go home.
    Chize

    Answer by Chize at 9:46 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Grandparents should be allowed a small amount of leeway in their own homes. They paid their dues by being the heavy & parenting their own kids. They get to do a bit of spoiling now. I don't think grandparents should undermine parental authority but sometimes you have to let certain things slide. Talk to your mom about why this is such an issue. If she refuses to listen or work with you at all (maybe you can compromise in that she will make a healthy food for DD but no junk food?), then you do need to leave. Good luck.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 10:06 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I would go home
    ColleenF30

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 10:38 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I'd sit her down and tell her how serious you are about this and that she's sabbotaging all your hard work and it's not acceptable nor appreciated. You really must have this chat because it starts with this but will escalate to other things you disapprove of down the road and will forever be a pain in your relationship. I'd set her straight today and if she cannot be receptive, I would leave.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:08 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

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