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Anyone else have a very feminine tween son?

My 10 yr old son is very feminine. He is very dramatic,for instance falls down with a high pitched scream so to make sure he has everyones attention if he stubs his toe,He enjoys things like musical theatre singing and dancing,would prefer colors such as pink and purples for his clothing,gives me advice and beauty and decorating tips,sways his hips when he walks and places his hands on his hips when talking.Recently he came to me and told me that he hates that he has leg hair so I let him buff it off and it made him so happy.We have been very open with him about our beliefs on homosexuality which is basically whatever floats your boat,or makes you happy. I would have no problem with him being gay when he gets older my husband thinks hes like this because I am overly accepting and thinks we should try to help him become more masculine by putting him in football and other masculine things.any one else going through this?

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jendramis

Asked by jendramis at 10:11 PM on Jul. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (25)
  • i would just accept him.if you push football or anythinghes generally not interested in he will get hurt:( you dont want your son to cut you out. KWIM but i would just takl to him about it. be open minded like you say you are. if he truely is "feminine" putting him in football wont help. its the way he is. this could all be just a phase though.hes only 10. it might pass and if not then a saying i love is " acceptance..its better to have yourchild in your life than not at all."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • Not going through this with my boys but will tell you to NOT force him to play sports just to make him more manly. He is becoming who he is. Just love him and accept how he feels about his sexuality. That is the best thing you can do for him.
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 10:16 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I have two sons, but they are too little to be able to tell; however, I think it's great that you let your son be who he is! That is a great thing! I don't think you should try to force him to be more masculine because that would not make him happy. I saw a documentary on children who were gender confused. The shaving of the legs thing made me think of it. Based on research a child is much more likely to be suicidal when the parents do not accept them for who they are. I don't know if your son has gender confusion, but it is something to think about. Anyway...good luck to you and good for you for being a good mom.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:19 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • You cant just force sports on Him, Hes prob. gay and fem. and its nothing you did, You cant change things like that.
    heathersmomm500

    Answer by heathersmomm500 at 11:46 PM on Jul. 26, 2009

  • I definately dont want to cause him to think that being "him" is wrong but I also dont want to encourage it idk I just know that being different is so hard,he already doesnt fit in with his peers,I let him do the whole mohawk thing and even did a temp dye on it next he wanting his ears peirced but that I just wouldnt allow (not yet anyhow). Sometimes I do feel like maybe hes like this because of me when he was younger he did beauty pageants and modeling and really enjoyed it,we stoped when he was 4.One day he told me that there is a 1% percent chance that he would like boys as more than a friend and although I didnt say anything to him except that he can choose to like whoever he wants to like,im really thinking to myself this is not a normal thing for a 10 yr old to say. I do have to say his overly feminine ways can be just irritating,hes just really dramatic about everything but id probably feel this way if my daughter .
    jendramis

    Answer by jendramis at 2:05 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Kudos to jendramis for being such a caring & accepting mom. Whatever your son's sexual orientation, he will be a better human being for the love you are showing to him. I wouldn't force him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. But at the same time, let him know that you are open for him trying new things. If football isn't his thing & you want him in sports, maybe try golf or tennis or swimming or baseball. I don't think you can make a child gay or straight by forcing them into Barbies or Football but any new activity or sport can be fun for any child.

    My SS is 10 & he loves to sing & dance around the house. He hates pink, but he did shave his legs a few weeks ago (I think it was more a curiosity thing, though). At this point, we aren't labeling him anything. Whoever he turns out to be is fine with us. We will always love him.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 2:06 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • hmmm im not sure about gender confusion,hes never said he feels like a girl or wants to be a gril or anything like that hes such a great kid hes gifted academically we have 5 children including him our yougest has special needs and he is always eager to help and respectful,I couldnt ask for him to be a better kid he does get teased as school and I just hate to see him hurting he is really strong about it though the funny thing is that he doesnt get teased for being girly he gets teased for being a goody goody,but I imagine as he gets older this will be hard for him,he does like break dancing and thats masculine kinda right? also he says pink is gangster lmao I guess he heard that somewhere
    jendramis

    Answer by jendramis at 3:30 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Forcing sports on him is not going to do one bit of good. He is who he is and he needs to just be accepted. Sounds EXACTLY like my cousin. He was always very feminine. He would play Barbies with me when we were little...braid my hair and pick out dresses for me to wear...was constantly singing and dancing around the backyard. He joined musicals all through school and actually went to college to pursue a career in drama/broadway theatre. We always knew he was gay and sure enough...he is. He has a boyfriend, lives in Chicago, and seems to be very happy. My aunt and uncle never forced him to do anything he didn't want to do. It is one of those things that you can't change and by trying to change it you will only do damage.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 3:58 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I agree and would never try to forcibly"change"my son I dont even think that that is possible,maybe introducing him to some more masculine things woulnt hurt,my husband isnt your typical macho guy eighter so im sure thats not helping dh isnt into sports knows nothing about cars doesnt really even hang out with other guys.although I am accepting,I worry about my conservative family,my sons biological father passed away when he was very young and his side of the family would just flip out if he turnd out to be gay I guess we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there. I am just wondering if I am making too much of this and that maybe lots of boys go through this but from the post thus far it looks as though I was right and this is not "normal" whatever that may be.
    jendramis

    Answer by jendramis at 6:12 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • sounds like he's gay dear, which is not a disease just love 'em don't push him into bullshit stuff you know he would hate, buy him a dang pink shirt & let it go... nothing you can do anyway :)

    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 7:48 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

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