Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

letting baby cry

my husband thinks we should let our 3 and half month old baby cry himself to sleep at night. I dont think this is a good idea and i rock him to sleep then lay him down for bed. How can i try to make my husband relize this is not a good idea. Hes to little to be crying it out or atleast thats how i feel.

 
Jaxsmommy09

Asked by Jaxsmommy09 at 1:09 AM on Jul. 27, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 16 (2,370 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • At 3 months he IS to little to be CIO. Most CIO advocates say not until AT LEAST 6 months old. The rude posters are just that rude. Her question wasn't about whether she should CIO, but how to get DH on the same page! UGH some people. As for getting DH on the same page try finding studies or books stating how it is bad for them under 6 months or a year and let him read. He may see it as time he could have with you and be resenting the baby. Before you can get him on the same page you need to find the real root of his problem with it and then address that. Good luck!! Follow your instincts and don't let that LO cry if you don't think it is right. Mine never had to cry themselves to sleep and they were both sleeping on their own through the night around 14 months old.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 7:42 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • if you don't think this is a good ideal then why are you asking us. You sound like your gona do what you want anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • why are you so rude?
    i wanted to know how to get my husband on the same page with out causing a fight.
    if you dont have anything nice to say dont answer my question skip past it.
    Jaxsmommy09

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 1:12 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Well, personally, I worked on gradually putting my son down more awake every couple of nights so he would get used to being able to fall asleep on his own. It worked wonders for me. You could start with that and let your husband know you are working on it, but in the meantime, you feel its best to comfort your son when he wakes up. And once my son was at a point where he was sleeping decently and would only wake up occasionally, we set a time limit for how long we would wait. The limit got longer as he got older. But this way your husband knows you are trying to teach your baby to self soothe and you know that it doesn't have to go on endlessly. Good luck!

    chillemi78

    Answer by chillemi78 at 1:20 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Cause a Child needs to learn to comfort them selves to sleep cause when that child gets to be 3 yrs old , they will not know how to do this. It's just a matter of learning. I had this problem when my son was 3 He wouldn't go to bed by him self for nothing. ( and a counsler told me to just let him cry himself to sleep ), I did and we findly made it throw it but it was soo Hard when he was older than when he was just a baby. So when his sister was born I did it when she was tiny and just took a couple of times and she was use to it .. Now this doesn't mean you can't rock you baby to sleep but helps to know they can do it for them selves too.As for getting your husband on your side. Just tell him YOU enjoy it right now. They don't stay little long.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I tried this once my baby hit his head on the crib till it bled! tell him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • you know what I didn't care what anyone said I always rocked my baby to sleep cuz they stay that little for a very short time and that's the only time you really get to hold your baby rock him and bond with him, eventually they don't want you to rock them anymore and that time comes sooner then later, so do what makes you happy and enjoy them that little while you can cuz they grow up way to fast
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:26 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Why does your husband care if you are the one putting him to sleep? If you really feel he needs convincing google the effects of CIO and educate him.
    ronisaurus

    Answer by ronisaurus at 1:32 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Maybe your husband feels that you are spending too much time with the baby and not enough with him? I know that learning how to balance being a new mom and a wife was very hard for me in the beginning as well. Assure him that you are still learning and that you are trying to follow your God-given instincts. Plus, you could show him *wink wink* how much less stressed you feel knowing that your baby is comfortable and cosily asleep rather then crying and scared.

    Another issue could be that maybe he feels that he doesn't have anything to contribute right now. How do you react when he offers suggestions? Are you shocked at things that you don't agree with, or do you validate the fact that he is giving input and gently showing him why you don't want to do something? Are you allowing him to do things his way (as long as it is not harmful) when he is caring for your child, or are you looking over his shoulder?

    continued:
    squish

    Answer by squish at 1:55 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I rocked all 3 of my bio kids to sleep for months. DD was over a year before she put herself to bed, DS about 10 months old, & youngest DD just over a year. They are all great sleepers now. I never had them cry it out. When they were ready to sleep on their own, they did it. I know that isn't the answer for everyone, but it worked for me. I cuddled & rocked my babies A LOT. I would rock them at night if they cried, too. They are 15, 6, & 5 now & are happy, well-adjusted kids who are still very affectionate & love to snuggle.

    You have to find peace with your husband, but you also have to do what is best for you as a mother. If your heart is telling you to pick up your baby, pick up your baby! Good luck!
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 1:58 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN