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My situation....

I've been seeing someone for almost 5 months now. He lives an hour and 15 minutes away from me, so we only see each other like once every two weeks. I have fallen for him. Head over heels. I thought everything was going great but a couple of weeks ago he tells me he just doesn't want a realtionship now. I'm devastated, completley wrecked over this. I talked to him for the first time in 3 weeks on saturday, and my heart just broke all over again. I want to be with him, I love him. I know there are reasons he doesn't want a realtionship right now but I'm willing to wait. Not forever, I know I deserve better than that, but I am willing to give it some time, give him some time. Am I being stupid? Do I need to just move on or give it a little while and see if things change? Any advice would be apprecieated, and please be nice I'm already hurting enough....thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jul. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I would just go on with your life as if he weren't in it. If he comes around, then you can decide at that point if you still want to be with him; but if he doesn't, then at least you haven't wasted any more time on him.

    Answer by missanc at 10:33 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Waiting's not a bad thing. Give him the time he needs. If it's meant to be it will be and in the meantime, just keep living life and enjoying everything life brings your way. Just don't sit and pine over him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:35 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • If you want to hold out for him to change his mind, go ahead. But I suggest that you don't turn down other opportunities for dates. Since he does live far away, he may be seeing someone else and that could be why he is saying he doesn't want a relationship.(sorry, but it happens) I personally would go on with an active social life and go out with someone if they ask or if I found someone interesting.
    Hope this advice was helpful, I am married and have not dated for years. :)

    Answer by LuvMyBoyzz at 10:35 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I am in the same frickin boat right now! Really!! Only I've been dating the guy for a few years. I am completely heartbroken. This was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with...I've never flet like that about other BF. I've been taking it day by's very, very hard. I have to make myself not call him or go see him. I've tried to keep myself as busy as possible...I have the cleanest house in my whole frickin state!! I'm just trying to give him time to realize he let go of a great person who would love him forever. I'm not gonna sit around and wait for him forever, if someone asks me out I'll go...just not right now. I'm still nursing my broken heart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Why did you attack her when you obviously have such a negative opinion and you knew by the title what the post would be about? You are very wrong with what you are saying too. Toys can be a part of a healthy relationship or even just plain ole masturbation in general. Hubby and I both do in addition to having sex at least 2 to 3 times a week which is great considering he has 2 jobs, I work very weird hours myself and have 3 kids on top of it. That was just mean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • OMG I totally posted the above in the wrong spot and I can't figure out how to delete it. Big red faces. I am sooo sorry! soo embarrassed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • he's just not that into you. guys have an amazing capacity to put their feelings to the side. most of the time if he says he doesn't want a relationship, it is exactly what he means. you can try to hook up with him later, but you will probably be disappointed if you do. try to get on with your life. at least you won't have to worry about running into him somewhere... i'm sorry he did this to you-been there...

    Answer by ranedare at 11:31 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Anytime a guy suddenly sayd "I don't want a relationship right now" after dateing for a while is wanting to keep his options open. I'm sorry but it's the truth if he really wants to be with you he will no matter what is going on in his life. My guess is he met someone else in his town and he is seeing if that works better for him. I personally would just go on with my life if he returns wanting a relationship just be aware that it is possible that he will do it again...I am sorry that I am so blunt but it is most likely the way it is.....GL

    Answer by heather.darin at 11:36 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • It is hard being a single parent and it is hard to watch all of our friends and family be in love and think that we are the only ones who are alone. You guys had a long distant relationship that did not give you time to know him. Maybe you were more infatuated with the thought of being in love and being with someone than anything else. Give yourself a break. Have fun with your kids and your family and know that if it is meant to be, he will come back. That is what happened to me. Now we are married and are happy, for the most part. We still have some problems, but who doesn't. If he doesn't come back, then you will find someone else that is better for you.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:43 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • ANON 11:19...Thats exactly how I feel! I have to do everything in my power not to go over there, or pick up the phone and call. It doesn't help that everything reminds me of him, and I miss him soooo much. What else do you do to keep from calling or going to see him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

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