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My daughter is 13 and I was overwhelmed and hurt when I learned that she has had sex. Although, I feel as if my world is tumbling down right now I still know that I have to give her the tools to protect herself, because there is no turning back. I use to believe that I would never put my teen daughter on birth control, but I know that if I don't now I'm asking for trouble. I guess to sum it up my question would be, what form of birth control(too late for abstinence) is best for a teenage girl?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jul. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (18)
  • I think the pill and condoms. Have her seta timer on her phone to take it same time everyday and insit on condoms. Show her pics of std's if you have too. Pill wont protect her from those so talk to her about respecting herself and loving herself enough to say no when he wont use one...
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:37 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • It's not too late for abstinence, just b/c she has had sex doesn't mean she has to continue to have sex. If she has had sex, then you should take her to the gyno. She needs to be checked out && the doctor would probably be able to give you/her the best options for someone her age. If you want to put her on BC as a safety precaution, that's fine, but I would still talk to her about waiting until she is older to have sex again.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 11:39 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Fortunately, I haven't had to act yet, but I have had to give this some thought. I would go for shots - pills can be easily forgotten and also can be seen by others (and I wouldn't want to sollicit anyone's opinion on the subject). And of course, a condom as well!

    Best is to go to a doctor and see what he/she recommends.

    Good luck to you! It is difficult to face such facts when they are only 13, but better to approach it as you are then to have a pregnancy to deal with. Nevertheless, you certainly can push for her to act responsibly - she may not be a virgin anymore but that doesn't mean she can't stop having sex or at least to act mature and responsible about it (not slutty or act dangerously).
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 11:41 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.. But you are so I think a trip to the Dr would be a good idea. She wanted to act like an adult so now it's time she hears from the Dr what can happen as a result... STD's etc.. They don't let feelings get in the way like we do so he/she will be straight with her. Then at home I would lay down some rules, only goes out with an adult, mom or dad, not allowed to be alone with any boys. She can do things as long as there's an adult present. Our oldest will be 13 in August and he has yet to be alone long enough to get himself in trouble. They aren't mature enough to make life changing decisions. Don't come across yelling etc. Just show her you're going to be an active parent and she won't be alone anymore. She has to earn your trust back...JMO GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:41 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • How busy is your child? I would ask her doctor what she thinks but you could also try the depo shot, It may ruin her period for a while but at least she won't have to worry about taking a pill everyday. The shot you get every 3 months. I took the pill ans it made me sick. Also have her use comdoms cuz those are all she has to protect herself from std's. Good luck. Just be happy you know now and you didn't find out when she was in labor. All you can do it help her be safe,no matter how much you parent her there's no stopping teens. my first was at 15 and my parents never new until years later.
    JacobsMommy05

    Answer by JacobsMommy05 at 11:45 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I would definitely bring her to the doctor, and let this be a discussion between doctor and patient. You will need to get her to the doctor every six months to be tested for STDs. Please, please, please have the banana and condom conversation with her.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:50 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Maybe the shot? But she and her doctor should discuss what might work best. Just be sure to keep the lines of communication open so she can come to you, instead of just her friends. I wasn't much older than your daughter (15, and in my opinion still way too young). I wish I'd had that kind of relationship with my mom, but didn't. She assumed her child just wouldn't have sex young and therefore didn't need to talk about it. I felt it was too hard to approach her with those expectations...I was a teenager, and like any teenager, not perfect and made mistakes. I think that's the best advice I can give you...make sure she sees the doctor often (especially if she continues to be sexually active) and let her know you're there for her. Sex too young is a very scary thing (both physically and emotionally) and she'll need her mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Go to the doctor and get her on the pill. There are a ton of varieties to choose from, so if one makes her feel icky, she can always try another. (I'm on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo and it's great.) Speak to your doctor about buying the "generic brand" of the pill--my "generic" brand of Ortho Tri-Cyclen only costs $9 per pack!

    She should pay for her own birth control, but do not make her feel bad about it. Set a daily alarm on her cellphone/watch to remind her to take the pill at the same time every day.

    She should also be using condoms and tested for STDs once per year.

    Now is not the time to shame her. Encourage her to take responsibility, and be proud that she was (I'm assuming here) comfortable enough with you to tell you what's going on. In a few years, you can casually bring up sex and ask if she wished she'd waited.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:10 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • i wouldnt use the pill unless she is really good at doing things on time all the time. i was not and so i had my first at 16. i would take her to see your doc or even your gyo, and talk to them about what they would think is the best form of BC. i am not a mother of a teen yet not even close, but i do remember my life around that age. i would not have her use the mirrana, that is just to much for a teen. but the shot is a good one if she can handled shots, i couldnt i still hate them, but they have a ring that you place every 28 days that may work. sorry i wouldnt be of more help. but it looks like you got alot of answers. but i would talk to your doc/gyno.
    michelle.coppes

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 1:12 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • WOW !! U GET A ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!!! YAAYYYY !!!!

    BECAUSE MY MOM KNEW I WAS HAVING SEX AT 16 AND 17 (I HAD A STEADY BF) NEVER BOTHERED TO TAKE ME TO THE CLINIC TO GET B.C . !!!

    I DON'T REGRET MY SON DON'T GET ME WRONG AND I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING, BUT SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME TO GET B.C ...

    YOUR DAUGHTER IS GONNA DO WHAT SHE'S GOTTA DO ... SADLY ... MY 1ST TIME I WAS 13 TOO . WHEN YOU ARE 13 YEARS OLD U THINK U KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND THINK YOU GROWN.
    SGMAMI

    Answer by SGMAMI at 5:31 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

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