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i feel like im stuck in a hole i cant get out of.

im 19 years old and i have a 22 month old son. i live with my mom, i feel like she needs me around to take care of her but i dont know how long i can endre this. we fight all the time and she doesn appriciate anything i do...nothing is ever right theres always something i did wrong. i feel like i need to get my life started on my own for the sake of my sanity and my sons childhood. what would you do in my shoes....how do i leave my mom on good terms? i feel like she should still be helping me. im an adult but im not experienced in life...i dont have my liscence or a car and she wont help me learn....i dont know what to do. why does she want to keep me under her thumb if we cant get along ona daily basis.

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momand17

Asked by momand17 at 11:53 AM on Jul. 27, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Go to school. Stay with her as long as you can and go to school in the process. Why dont you have ur license? Do whatever you have to do to get them, then go to school.
    Cherish050307

    Answer by Cherish050307 at 11:56 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • My parents and I had a lot of issues when was a teenager. I told my parents the day I turned 18 I was moving out. They laughed, until I found an apartment when I turned 18 and left. Best thing I ever did. I didn't know anything about paying bills, grocery shopping, etc but I learned it all very quickly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • My mom screwed me out of a lot of great opportunities when I was your age bc she didn't want to be alone. Controllers are selfish ppl. Think about yourself. Get a friend to help teach you to drive. Some cities have classes you can take to learn. You can be reading the manual without her help. Just take small steps toward independence. Then tell mom that you love her and appreciate her but think it's time to leave the nest and be independent since you already have your own child now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • The best thing you could do for yourself is go to school and since you have a child, you will get financial aid with no problem. This will help you have a great future for you and your child. Do you have a Pastor from church or a friend who you could talk to about mom, who could be understanding and maybe give you some advice on how to handle things while you still live there. Moving out isn't all ways the answers,, because when we run away from one problem before fixing it makes a bigger problem and I can see you don't want that so my advise would be to stay home work things out with mom with help from someone get your drivers licence, go to college. It will not be easy but worth the effort. And I know from you asking this question, I can see that you care.


    tyme4me2day

    Answer by tyme4me2day at 12:11 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • BTW I'm mom to a 16, 18 and 21 year old......so I know what you are going through and it ALL will be okay.


    ((HUGS)) and Good Luck! and if you need to talk, I'm here.

    tyme4me2day

    Answer by tyme4me2day at 12:12 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Your mom is probably disappointed that you are 19 and have a 22 month old son. You may have made some unfortunate decisions in the past, but she shouldn't continue to blame you. Both you and your child will feel resentment. Start living your own life. If she was ever going to help you, she would have done it a long time ago. By age 19 you should not be looking to your parents to learn how to drive. With a 22 month old child you should be taking responsibility for your own life and his upbringing. Ready or not, delaying things in this situation will only make things worse. Your son does not need to see his mom treated badly by anyone. Don't think that getting involved with some guy will solve your problems. People have already mentioned school. It's a great idea but you need to find someone you trust to watch your son while you are in class. A good church, that would be a great place to start looking.
    hsmom321

    Answer by hsmom321 at 3:46 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • On the one hand you say you want to get out because your mother takes you for granted and then on the other hand you say that she should be helping you more...... Are you in a position to even move out "to get your life started"? I think you should use this time to focus on just that....getting yourself ready to get out on your own. That is probably what your mother wants you to be doing. You are young and you have a young child...you do need help. You have a place to live, so start getting yourself some good job training or an education that will lead you to a place where you will be ready to get out on your own.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 10:08 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

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