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Opinions on shared custody....

Do you think a parent should MAKE their child call their Mom or Dad on Fathers Day? Especially if the child is old enough to express their desire. I'm a SM & my SS is 4, my DH has never wished BM Happy Mother's Day or even told my SS anything about Mother's Day. He did wish me Happy Mother's Day because my SS lives with us and I've been the real "Mom'' for the past 2 years. BM even sent SS home with a Mother's Day present for me, but she was upset my DH didn't wish her Happy Mothers Day. I'm not sure what to think because I am FAR MORE of a Mom to my SS than his BM but, he's too young to even know what Mother's Day is. If he was older and didn't want to that would be different, what do you think?

Also, do you make your kids wish their Dads Happy Fathers Day, if you honestly feel their BF is a bad Dad?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jul. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • So wait, she was upset that your dh didn't wish her a happy mother's day? WOW, OK well, it is somewhat rude that he didn't BUT, not near as bad as when I thought you meant he didn't have dss recognize it.

    I know this situation has to be difficult. It usually is. I have been mediating between dh and her ex for almost 11 yrs. now. Sometimes it's easy, most the time it is very challenging. Hang in there though, you will become a better person for it.

    Answer by Petie at 5:04 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • HOnestly that is mean that you guys don't even acknowledge it. The fact that she recognizes you are there for her son is sweet. You should do the same. It isn't about who does more. That is HIS mom. A 4 year old does not fully grasp the concept of mother's day and yes you should have him call.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • We don't make a big deal out of it with my SDs. My 7 year old will typically want to call her bio-mother and wish her Happy Mother's Day, and of course we allow them to. My 3 yo SD is too young to really understand what it's about, but she likes to talk to her anyway. While I don't think she necesarilly "deserves" it, she is their mother and I will respect that when needed.

    Answer by KennsWifey at 3:27 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • If they see their mother or father, then yes they should be atleast calling the parent on Mothers/Fathers Day, birthday, etc. They should also get that parent a gift or make them something. I am very impressed that your SS mom sent you a gift for Mother's Day. That was very thoughtful of her. I don't blame her one bit for being upset that no one thought about her. Children need to be taught what is right and wrong and your husband ignoring the mom on Mother's Day,etc is wrong. It would be totally different if there was no relationship between the kids and the parent.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:11 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • My stepkids are 4 and 6. When we have them on holidays we have them call their mother and wish her a happy whatever. She does the same sometimes and sometimes not.

    Answer by Avarah at 4:16 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I think it is rather rude not to have him call his mom on mother's day. I can't believe you wouldn't tell dh that he NEEDS to do that. My ss always called his mom on mother's day, her birthday, christmas, thanksgiving, and easter, oh and the fourth of july and new years. I would have been ANGRY had dh not insisted that he do this.

    Answer by Petie at 4:46 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • I'm the OP, Petie and she had my SS with her on Mother's Day. She was upset when she droped him off back at home (he lives with us full time she has him on weekends.She could've kept him that night too, she didn't want to) that m DH didn't wish her Happy Mother's Day just wanted to clarify. While I have almost no respect for her because she doesn't involve herself as much as she can or should, I do feel bad about Mother's Day. I am torn, though, because although I think something should be done I'm having a hard time feeling like I should be the one to do it. Yet, I know for a fact my DH won't do it. it's a very difficult situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Jul. 27, 2009