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What do you do when you get totally discouraged with life & family?

My life is a story of triumph and tragedy and occasionally smooth sailing. I work hard to take care of myself, my daughter, and those I love. I am always the one forgiving. I get taken advantage of frequently. My parents bad mouth me for no reason - this has been all my life - they either ignore me or talk shit. I am so frustrated. Once again, everything I have worked hard for and poured my soul into is crashing down around me. I am usually positive, the one looking on the bright side, but right now I feel completely discouraged. No matter what I do, I end up with less than I started, hurt, etc. I am trying really hard to find something positive right now. There are only truly a couple of people I can truly count on to love and support me and not take me backwards in life, and they are all far, far away. Please no clich├ęs - I know them all. I know things will change, but dammit I just can't take it anymore. Thanks.

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figaro8895

Asked by figaro8895 at 3:45 PM on Jul. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 26 (27,251 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I say stay away from your parents. They obviously are the cause of your low self esteem. Focus on the people you can count on and enjoy life! It will be over before you realize it and you will have a lot of regrets about not taking advantage of enjoying the people you love now.
    smarshy

    Answer by smarshy at 3:50 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Do something for someone that you don't even know. Go to the nearest nursing home or assisted living facility, take a single rosebud or a carnation in a vase. Go to the office and ask for the name and room number of a resident who seldom if ever has any company. Spend 30 minutes with that person, and I guarantee you that you will leave with a spring in your step. If you don't like old people, go to a hospice center, and do the same thing. Or call your local Big Brothers or Big Sisters org. and ask them about a child who needs some company. I promise you it will help. There are so many lonely people in this world who would be so appreciative of anyone's showing them some attention and making them feel special. It really does work.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:53 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Do you feel better after venting here? Listen put your right hand on your left shoulder and left hand on your right shoulder and squeeze here's a hug from me to you : ) Hope your day gets better.....
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:53 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Life can suck...I hear ya..I just went through a little suicidal episode myself where I couldn't seem to stop crying idk what to say to help...except that you're not alone in that feeling...I think most of us feel sad sometimes...life is hard, people hurt & betray you, hardest is when it's family that does that...mine has too...I guess we just have to see thier limitations? See that they're unable to be any bigger human beings than they are for whatever reason...it's hard to forgive them, sometimes easier and the healthiest choice to steer clear of them for awhile until you pull yourself out of your slump...I know this will sound trite but it helps me to try and count my blessings...even though sometimes I just sit here going...uhh...uhhh...let's see, what are they? lol...think hard enough and I bet you'll come up with something...(((HUGS)))
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 3:59 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • ...I like NannyB's advice~!
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 4:01 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • Re: Staying away from my parents... I have been for the most part. I have been trying to be at least civil, but it's difficult. My daughter lives there right now (she is 18). I have lots of women friends who are older than me who are struggling with aging/dying parents. I keep thinking I will regret waiting until they are at that stage to make amends or it never happening. But I know it has to be two-sided. It's just such bullshit. They put up such a front (this is the story of my family - make it look good). I really don't have anyone around right now. I am trying to reach out to people I trust care about me over the phone. The funny thing is, I don't have bad self esteem... I did for a long time until I understood the root... but this kind of crap can bring me down. I know I'm wonderful and can't figure out why my parents and others don't. Trying not to turn it inward - guess it's not working well.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:03 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • NannyB... thank you for the awesome reminder of the healing value of being of service to others. I needed that.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:04 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • raemommy... not yet... i vented earlier in my journal, but i am really struggling right now. I have a history of chronic depression and it's been about 10 years since I've had to deal with it, but I really feel it lately... i'm trying really hard not to sink back there. i know there are wonderful caring women on CM amidst the anon nutsos. I appreciate the hug and the support. That definitely does help. right now i'm having a hard time remembering all the things i learned that have kept me out of depression for so many years. it's very hard to see light at the end of the tunnel today. i know being grateful is one way... but with everything going wrong and lost lately, that list is short and really stretching. i'll keep trying...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:08 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • chocolatluver - thank you so much for your insight. i'm glad you are doing better.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:09 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

  • what are your options? You don't seem like a woman who would harm herself and cheat her kids out of a mom so what's left? Personally I think you should regroup. See if there is a class to learn how to be more assertive so you stop letting ppl take advantage of you. If not, there has to be some books. Educated yourself. Grow strong. Practice saying "no" in the mirror. When you do so much for others you sort of take away from your kids. remind yourself that your kids mean more than those other folks. Give to them. It's ok to be what you probably think is being selfish. You and your kids come first. That should be your new mantra
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:23 PM on Jul. 27, 2009

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