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menage a trois?

DH and I have been together for 8 years come December and we have been married for 5 of those years. DH wants us to have a threesome with another woman. I am really reluctant to be having another woman enter our relationship, but I told him that I was willing because well I am ust for his sake. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not but it's his fantasy and I wanted to make his fantasy come true for him.

Have you guys ever brought another person into your relationship for just one night and it turned out well? The past few weeks have been really rocky for the both of us. He told me that he wants me to be more spontaneous, and I think that doing another woman would be just the ticket.

Any advice, comments, suggestions would be helpful. Thanks ladies!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I've never done this, but I know others who have and it never turned out well...

    Answer by theutilitarian at 1:04 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • hon...your husband I am sorry to say is an ass . He is wrong for making you feel like the only way to make things better is if he messes with another woman. Hon in what way can that fix the 2 of you? Think about it please, I know what its like to want to try anything to fix something like this but bringing another person in will only cause alot of heartache.If you do this , for the rest of the relationship every time he touches you you will think"is he thinking of her" and everytime he glances at another woman you will think"does he want her and not me"I mean if you want something new, buy a sex swing, watch porn, buy sex toys,please dont have sex with another will kill the relationship I swear to you it will.and if he gets mad tell him "Ok a threesome is fine you me and another MAN", he doesnt deserve

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:10 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • tell him to pick another fantasy, men have alot, not just one. Seriously, how could him getting a free pass to basically cheat solve anything? dont do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't recommend it, especially if he was the one who initiated the idea. It would be a signal to me that he was obviously unsatisfied in some way, and I'd be worried that if we brought another woman into the relationship to satisfy that need to experiment that he would get dependent on the scenario. Not to mention...what is she becomes attracted to him? I personally wouldn't do it....I married my husband because we both wanted to be exclusive and I personally would feel like something was lacking if he suggested this. If you do decide to, be careful and set boundaries. Good luck!

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:12 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • If you are going to do this , I strongly advise you to make it a condition that you meet the other woman first, without your husband present, before you will agree to anything. It could be very enjoyable, it could wreck your marriage. You and her should reach an understanding and ensure it is both what you want. Your husband isn't the only player in the game and has no right to call all the shots.

    Answer by janet116 at 1:13 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • My answer really is a two part here. My dh and I have had a threesome one more than one occasion and it was truly one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. But the people that we had them with were very dear friends. We are all close and there are no jealousy issues with us. There was one time that I started to feel jealouse and we stopped it and never initiated it again with that person.

    That being said I am the first to admit that my experiance with threesomes is more the exception than the rule. You must be very careful. Trust is one of the main things people seem to overlook in these situations. you have to trust all peoples involved. Even a little speck of doubt can grow into more down the road. You must be sure that it's something you really do want. I'd say doing it just because you want to make your husband happy is a dangerouse reason to do it. But that's my opinion on it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I have done that on several occasions, and I have to tell you that it can go really wrong, really fast if there are not set boundaries and rules discussed beforehand. You need to be very specific with your husband about what YOU are comfortable with, and don't lie or hedge around just bc he is pressuring you. It can be a beautiful experience, and bring you and him closer together if done correctly, but it shouldn't be something you are pressured into or feel you were coerced into. Otherwise, you will only have bad feelings out of it. You will resent him, and he will resent you for "ruining" a fantasy. Above all, just be honest with him no matter what.

    Answer by Emuu at 1:25 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • What about asking him about bringing another MAN into the equation and see how that sits with him. Really, ask him. Tell him you'd be more comfortable and then tell him to be more spontaneous. I don't know....good luck though.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:32 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I'm sorry but how is your husband screwing another woman considered beautiful? Thats so uncool.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • that is just ridiculous! I will not do it if that is how he describe being spontaneous. What if he ends up sleeping with this woman all the time or leave u 4 that person? Beside that I believe intimacy is a spiritual bond and i dont take it 4 granted. That is just me though. All the best.

    Answer by sanab at 1:42 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

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