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do i have a right to be mad?

my mother in law has a picture of one of my husbands ex girlfriends and him when they went to prom my husband is 34 so that tells you how long along it was. Now i find out that she went to this same ex girlfriends baby shower and bought her alot of stuff. This makes me so mad.. Plus i am 7 months pregnant and she hasnt yet bought us anything for the baby. Am i wrong for being mad about this.

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proudmama930

Asked by proudmama930 at 3:19 AM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (121 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Of course you're upset about it, but harboring negative feelings towards them isn't going to make it any better. Just be the bigger person and don't let it bother you!

    My in-laws hate me and I have no idea why. This is not really the same situation, but when my BIL walks through the door it's like Jesus Christ himself entered the room, it's ;unbelievable!! I just don't let it bother me anymore. Sorry, I wish I had some great advice, but I don't. I wish you the best:)
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 3:24 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • im guessing that u dont have a very strong relationship with ur mother in law? I had the same problem, and even now I am not with my partner, my ex mother in law still flaunts pictures of my kids with all his new conquests when i take them to visit.. Maybe if u sat down and chatted about the prospects of how exciting it is that she is going to be a grandmother and how much you would love for her to be involved, might knock her for a sixer and she might actually warm up to the idea that you are in this too and are willing to share it with her
    tizza

    Answer by tizza at 3:25 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Your preggo and your taking this way out of hand your married to him what does it matter to you what his mother is doing maybe her family is good friends of the family. Just enjoy your pregnancy and you are over reacting over this really WHO GIVES A SHIT??? You shouldn't!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • maybe i should have also added that me and my husband already have a son and she has a grandson from my sil.. But she has never seen my son and hasnt bought him anything since he was born.. Hes 2 now.
    proudmama930

    Answer by proudmama930 at 3:34 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I'd be mad too. That's just rude. I think he should be the one to talk to her about it. It's his mom and he's supposed to make you comfortable and protect your feelings. Family or not, he made a commitment to you. Why should you have to look like the bad guy in these situations.
    tcarter1981

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 3:35 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • that's rude of her.
    it's her son's baby isn't it?? so y can't she get anything for you.
    family should always come first.
    tell your husband about it and tell him to confront it to his mother. since it's his mother....
    kittenripmaygo

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 4:31 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I would be upset too
    ilovemyboys21

    Answer by ilovemyboys21 at 4:54 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Yes, you have a right to be mad. but don't be. don't let her actions have power over your life. unless she specifically tells you why she is doing this you will randomly come up with every reason you possibly can in your own head. you'll never really know why she does what she does. just let her do, and let it go.
    you can only change your reactions to what people do, not what they do. If she is a b_tch than she's a b_tch whether you let her make you angry or not. let her be one on her own.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 6:23 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Having the picture is no big deal since prom is a big deal. Displaying said picture in a prominent place might bother me. Going to her shower and giving her lots of gifts would make me mad though and hasn't given anything to the son you have or for this pregnancy. This woman may be a friend of the family, but the child she is carrying is not your MILs grandchild. How is his relationship with his mother? It sounds like it's not that good and maybe that is the reason she is doing it. Just let it go and move on. Stressing about it is not good for the pregnancy!
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 7:43 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Yeah I would be upset too. My boyfriends mom is kind of the same way towards me. She buys a TON of things for her daughters daughter and spends so much time with HER but doesn't seem to care a whole lot about our children (when she found out we were having a girl, she told us she'd SELL us some of her grand-daughters old stuff. REALLY?!?! ). It hurts. I understand it's not EXACTLY the same situation but they seem like they are similar. Try not to let it bother you. You ARE 7 months pregnant so your an emotional wreck so hopefully things won't seem as bad after you haev the baby :-) Good luck!
    CrystalJanie

    Answer by CrystalJanie at 7:48 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

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