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Would you let your 14 year old daughter have a 16 year old boyfriend?

The age difference between them is 1.5 years. If no, how would you stop it? If yes, what restrictions would you place on them?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • my soon to be 16 year old is dating a boy soon to be 18.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 8:57 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • YES I WOULD, YOUNG LOVE IS AN EXPERIENCE I WOULDN'T WANT TO DEPRIVE ANYONE OF. SET YOUR RULES, CURFEW ETC., BUT YOU KNOW THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF THEY WANT TO GET PHISYCAL THEY WILL FIND A WAY REGARDLESS OF THE RULES. THESE YOUNG YEARS ARE THE BEST FOR THEM BUT THE WORST FOR PARENTS, GOOD LUCK!
    older

    Answer by older at 9:01 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't judge it based on age alone. Is your daughter mature enough to even be "dating", how about this boy? How is he? Is he a nice guy, a punk, a rebel or what? If she is mature and a decent child and he is a good guy then yea, i'd allow it. But I wouldn't allow them to be alone. No single dates, no going over to each others houses while the parents are away. Talk to the boys parents and find out what their rules are regarding their child being alone with her. Like if they allow them to be in a room together alone with the door shut i'd say that's a big no no.

    I got pregnant at 16 and while I know it's practically impossible to prevent, if they are going to do it they are going to do it regardless of how hard you try. But I am going to do everything in my power to do everything to prevent it as much as I can.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 9:13 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I wonder if you should get her to a gynecologist and get her birth control. If they are going to do it anyway, perhaps a doctor would be able to inform her how it can happen to her even at her age, even the first time, even with not going all the way- just part-, that guys don't "need it or they'll get sick" all of that stuff that she'll be exposed to. And if she is on birth control having sex won't be so much a forbidden fruit but something that takes some maturity to consider and to realize the consequences of, such as STDs besides pregnancy and the life-changing implications of this.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:03 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • When I was 14 I dated a 16 year old, but there were rules. I was not allowed to ride in his car. When we went out, it had to be a double date and my parents dropped us off and picked us up. He could drive to my house and then my parents would take us. If we wanted to hang out alone it had to be at my parents' house in the family room (where everyone could walk in and out whenver), never in my bedroom. It lasted about 6 months before he broke up with me. He told me his love had stopped, lol. But he did move on to a girl that was more his age and I am sure with less parental rules. It was fun while it lasted and I didn't hate my parents because they forbid it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I was 14 dating a 17 year old. He was a jerk and treated me like crap. Looking back on it a large part of me wished my parents would have done more to prevent it but I know I probably would have done it anyways. He only wanted one thing and he minipulated me for 2 years...I finally came to my senses and ended it. I hate him more than anything...I dont regret dating him though. If it wasnt for our relationship I wouldnt be who I am today.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Yes I would, because if you do try to stop it, they will sneak around to see eachother....and you wouldn't be there to supervise. I'd set curfew, and make sure they aren't completely alone. Invite the boy over to your house to hang out, you can leave them alone in the living room but walk through every once in awhile...if you do allow them in your dd's room, make a rule that the door must stay open, and that you can walk in and out whenever you want to. Your best bet is to accept this boy and make him feel welcome in your home. Have him over for dinner, movie nights, family gatherings.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:39 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't let my 14 year old daughter have ANY boyfriend!
    Habibti812

    Answer by Habibti812 at 11:41 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • It depends what you mean by 'boyfriend' but yes, I probably would. First, some 13, 14, 15 year olds are more mature (my DD has a 17 year old friend who hasn't had a bf yet!) and are interested in having a bf. I think it is a losing battle to try to stop them - it may turn into war and lead to a breakdown in your relationship that could be fatal at this point. I would only try to stop them for very significant reasons (anything illegal, total disrepecte, etc.). I also think you need to allow them to see each other, get to know each other, so the interest wears off eventually.

    That said, you really need to talk to your daughter, see what she is thinking (what does it mean to have a 'bf'), agree on some limits. Get her to think about how she will deal with his/her raging hormones. Give her advice to stay out of sticky situtations (avoid being alone, go off to the bathroom if it gets to 'hot', etc.)
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 12:19 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • no
    CHRISSY810

    Answer by CHRISSY810 at 12:52 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

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