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I need to know if its over?

I don't feel that my husband is inlove with me any more .He saids he loves me. but I dont honestly feel it. or maybe he does in his speacial way I dont know. But Im sure That I fell out of being in love with him. I use to want to be with him all the time and now I tell him to go places by himself if I dont feel like going where he's goling. When he wants hanky-panky I dont want it. It all started when he stopped having any consideration for me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • First of all have a long talk with him let him know how you feel. Don't be so ready to throw in the towel. You have to work on it.

    Can you picture him with someone else? If not you really need to work on your marriage so that won't happen. As far as the lovemaking, let a few days go by and surprise him let him know you are in the mood and go from there, men are always ready for sex...LOL (funny...but so true)
    And I know how you feel when you just don't want to go anywhere, but we need to shake that off our minds bc that is how it starts before you know it he will stop asking you to go places and then we'll be stuck at home being all depressed. We don't want that kind of lifestyle...I say (WE) because I know where you are coming from and reading your post made me realize that part. :)
    So don't give up...If it is a weight issue do something about it. You can make it work. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:13 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • You married him. He is your husband not your boyfriend. If you leave you are breaking vows. FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. This is the part that is 'the worse'. You vowed to stick it out through that. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS ROUGH PATCHES. Do you honestly believe you can find someone better and have everything be perfect every day?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Ask yourself why he lost consideration for you. If it is because you no longer treat him as you would a lover, if you are taking him for granted, then he may simply be treating you familiarly, too. I try to always make my husband feel special, to show him that he enhances my life. Try extra hard to do what pleases him. Greet him when he gets home with a smile and a big hug, be sure to mention lightly when he does something that helps out around the house. As far as the lack of desire, this comes with stress for one thing. Check with your gyn about it. Don't fall into the trap of listing things you dislike, list the things that you like about him, things you love about him. When you list only bad things, that's what you dwell on. You should dwell on the good. It sounds as though it is time for you both to have marriage counseling.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:50 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • i don't think it is over from what you described. The in love feeling doesnt last forever in anyones relationship. I agree with Bmat..start putting a little effort out there and be playful and have fun and treat him the way you want to be treated and see where it goes. Take baby steps it wont change overnight. Dont give up on your marriage..fight for it, work on it!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:03 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • The best way to get your husband to "change" is to not try to change him, but change yourself. Are you putting in 100% effort? You are "not wanting" hanky panky.. not wanting to go places with him.. is he seeing this as YOU not feeling it. "We have to be the change we want to see in others"

    If you don't want to change, aren't willing to change, feel like you have already changed enough.. then it is time to sit down and have a serious talk with your husband.
    say_tay

    Answer by say_tay at 10:14 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Tough it out. There are days like that and then there are those days when you say thank goodness I am not single anymore. Marriage is a commitment not to be taken so lightly. That is why I waited until 28 2 weeks shy of my 29th to exchange vows. So I would not be so I dunno know if this is right stag in a marriage.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 10:33 AM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • "It all ended when he stopped having consideration for me."

    That's no reason to end a marriage. That's called a rut. You cannot judge how much he loves you because you're not him. Stop judging him and how you think he feels about you. Maybe you're expecting too much. Us women have a tendency to do that.
    Chill, breathe and treat him the way you want to be treated. When we give of ourselves to someone, they tend to see it and want to reciprocate the feeling.
    Hanapana

    Answer by Hanapana at 2:08 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I think that the first person was correct. We make vows to stand by our spouses for better or for worse. And you have hit a worse. And I am sure there are going to be more. Life isn't always going to be fair or fun. I think that you need to figure out how to spice things up. For you and for him. I don't like my DH to be up my rearend either. He does things on his own. But we do a lot apart so that we don't get sick of one another
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 7:16 PM on Jul. 28, 2009