Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I handle a four year old who back talks.

My daughter has now found "NO" as her favorite work. It doesn't upset me when its not something important or we are in a rush. Help Im not sure what to do.

Answer Question

Asked by mommyfeb11 at 2:08 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • a bar of soap in her mouth 1 time she will quit that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Simply teach her how to speak respectfully and have her repeat it until it becomes habit. Gentle reminders, model the behavior, don't get angry. If she doesn't want to use her manners when speaking, even when saying no, then a little think time in her room (or elsewhere away from family) until she can remember to use her manners. But I found that practicing and modeling the behavior worked best for my son. No need to punish, just discipline: practice practice practice. She's only 4 and manners can take longer for some than others, especially if manners are not used consistently within the family.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • It seems to be a new thing. It just started. She is usually a very well mannered little girl. She uses her please and thank yous and what not but its just the simple thing like turn the tv off its time to get ready for bed, or please go put your plate in the sink when she is done eating. I just wanna go crazy!

    Answer by mommyfeb11 at 2:21 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Remain consistent and tell her what the consequences are to when she chooses to not listen. Have her repeat the consquences so that you know she heard and understood. If she won't turn off the TV, tell her that she has a choice - she can do it or you can do it. If you have to do it, she will not be allowed to watch any more TV for xxx long. If she turns it off, then she can watch TV the next day or later or whatever is appropriate. Be very clear on the consequences and ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH calmly - never get angry. Just tell her what will happen, tell her SHE HAS THE CHOICE, and then follow through based on the choice she made.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 2:29 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I have tried sendin her to her room, putting her in the corner, taking things away. Im almost at my wits end with it.

    Answer by mommyfeb11 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • If it's just started, then pick ONE consequence and stick with it. Consistency is key, not trying everything - when you keep changing the discipline, she'll keep testing to see what you'll come up with next until you run out of ideas. Pick one and stick with it for as long as it takes for her to get bored with testing you - she'll know the outcome because you don't change it.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 5:17 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • 1/2teaspoon of vinger... my kids range from 12-6yrs and they hate it

    Answer by twistedcandy at 8:14 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • In our house, they say "NO" I say, "Yes ma'am, now get to it" whatever "it" is and if they say "no" again, then I just say, "yes, ma'am" and ensure they do it. It takes the fun out of it when they realize that they still have to do what they are told. DS is now 3.5 and he tried it, we did this, now occasionally, he will say it AS he is walking away to go do what I told him to. It's not really backtalk, it's simply, "I want to be in control and I want to see if it's allowed". So soap in the mouth IS NOT appropriate, not to mention it is unsafe.

    Answer by Petie at 9:09 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • 10 minitue time out every time.... you have to be consistant.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:32 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • 10 minutes for a 4 year old? By the time "time out" is over they've done forgot what they were being punished for because their attention span isn't that good.

    Consistency is the key, pick one punishment, and try offering options "you may put your plate in the sink and play, or leave the plate and go sit in the corner for 4 minutes" If the child chooses option b then they sit in time out, and when they get out you say "the choice is yours, you may now put your plate in the sink, or sit in the corner for another 4 minutes". The same choice sequence continues until the "correct" choice is made. The other option doesn't necessarily have to be time out, whatever you chose, but by offering controlled choices you're allowing your daughter to assert her independence yet the result is eventually going to be the outcome you wanted all along. She gets her way by choosing what to do, you get your way because the dish is in the sink.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:39 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.