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What would you do if your friend was getting married and you were worried about her?

What if you were in the wedding, but you weren't sure this was a good guy for her? (actually you don't think he is good for her at all)

Is it okay just to do it to support her choice?

Would you tell her how you feel?

Would you just pray for God to show her if it is not a good choice for her, and leave it up to Him?

Do I have some responsibity to her as a friend to share my concerns, or is my responsibility to butt out completely.

I feel she might be a bit naive about some things and this is a huge decision that will affect her for the rest of her life.

by the way the wedding is 3 weeks away.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Have you spoken to her about it? I see nothing wrong with gently expressing your concerns.  However, after you have done so then you just have to pray and be there for her if it goes wrong, and be thrilled with her if it doesn't.


    Answer by teamquinn at 3:09 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • She's an adult let her make her own decisions. if something goes wrong later be a friend and give her support. Whether or not you think he's a good choice means next to nothing. You are not the one marrying him. She obviously sees something in him you don't. Support her, pray for her if you must, but stay out of it.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 2:48 PM on Jul. 28, 2009


    Answer by older at 2:51 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Me three!

    When my cousin got married, the guy he picked for his best man didn't think that the bride was the right girl for him so he refused to even attend the wedding. It completely ruined their friendship, and my cousin is still married 15 years later.

    Butt out, support your friend, and be there for her if she has hard times in the future.

    Answer by goldenfox at 3:00 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Thanks you. I think she might know how I feel, because I do really love our other friends fiance, but I never say one nice thing about hers. I have tried, but he is such a jerk there is really nothing nice to say. I feel like I am being a hypocrite for being in the wedding. Like I am acting like I support her choice, and I really don't like this guy.

    What is very weird is that this guy is mean to ALL her friends on purpose. He never ever tries to be polite or kind to them. He insults them ALL. Not one of her friends likes him, not one. She has to know this. I guess I wonder if there is a reason why he tries to push us out of their life? We are all very welcoming and we did want to be friends with him at first.

    It isn't just that he doesn't like any of her friends, but that she has changed and become kind of like him -- cynical and insulting.

    He also seems to have anger problems.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Be happy for her, that she in the moment is happy. (Does that make sense? lol)
    Just be there for her when she falls, don't say "I told you so."
    Sometimes love can blind us.

    Answer by MandyOs at 3:39 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I would pray for her - and him - to have a happy life together. I would also pray for God to touch him and show him the wrongs he is doing.

    If it is a mistake . . . well, I can say from personal experience that sometimes it's best to take the "tough love" route and allow the mistakes to unfold on their own. It's not up to you to save her. Only she can save herself with God's help.

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 3:51 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • i would state my concerns but tell her your still honorred that she has asked you to be a part of her special day. tell her that she doesn't seem herself.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:15 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I would speak to her about it in a loving one of the previous posters had stated. I would still be in the wedding though to show her that no matter what you'll be there for know what I mean? Just be gentle tell her you are concerned and that the only reason why you are saying anything is because you love her and want to see her happy.

    Answer by LaceyAM at 4:25 PM on Jul. 28, 2009