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How can I get my husband to quit wasting money?

Would like advice on how you and your partner share the bills equally? We both work. I make a little more... so i pay more bills. He has to pay child support. He likes to spend more than he brings in and I feel like I am always picking up his slack. He still has no license, no ins or child ins and those should be top propriety. If something were to happen with him driving and esp with his son in the car we would be screwed. I am trying to get him to help split the mortgage too.. that we agreed before we would pay evenly. Yet we are partners and love each other he still never pays... hasn't for a year. I am begging him for money after the 15th every month. he keeps doing ebay deals.. that i dont trust and frankly eat his money up. How do you get your partner to understand money can't just be wasted? Just tired of being stressed out and him not understanding.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (9)
  • I would suggest that the two of you open a joint account if you haven't already done so, and have a specific amount the two of you agree upon directly deposited into that account towards bills and savings. BUT, the kicker, don't give him access to it, don't give him a debit card, no checks, don't even let him know the account number. NEXT, the rest of his pay check that isn't put into this account is his "play money" for blowing on what he wants.

    I would also suggest purchasing the book Smart COuples Finish Rich by David Bach, make sure he READS it with you. Hopefully it'll help get him to understand!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • i'm in the same boat, except mine is on amazon and craigslist always buying stuff. but i don't work so i can't say anything. write out a budget and see what he thinks.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:38 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • You are a partnership and your money is not yours and his money is not his. You should both have it direct deposited into a joint account. Put money into a joint savings or investments first(even if it is only 5-10 bucks each month to start), pay bills, mortgage and child support, what is left is for food, gas and what not. Set a budget for those expenses and stick with it. If he is not willing to sit down and be a mature adult with you about this he is a loser and I would not be with him.

    I am amazed at how many people are with someone that is so financially irresponsible. You should discuss this stuff before marriage. Would save a lot of heartbreak and fighting later. Fighting over money is a huge reason so many divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I do not agree with couples having their money separate. My husband and I we both work and put money on the account every time we get paid.I'm in charge of paying the bills and keeping up with all the expenses. And let me tell you it works like a miracle. We never fight over money or our spending. I thinks it's all about trust. I think if a guy wants to have money to himself there is something else to the story...Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • We have a joint account. I am the fiscally conservative one, so I pay the bills and manage the money. Included in our budget every month is "mad money" for each person-- a small amount that we can do with whatever we want and the other cannot question it. So when one of us "treats" the other to dinner-- it really is a treat because it comes from their mad money.

    My husband used to pay no attention to what was coming in vs. going out until I showed him a spreadsheet of how much debt we were in each month when he didn't pay attention. I have cut up all of his credit cards except one for emergencies, and he now only uses a debit card. For a while, we even had him have a separate checking account for his mad money so he wouldn't be tempted to overspend on the joint account. It's taken about a year, but his spending habits did change. He now asks himself-- do I need it? If not? Is it worth it?

    Good luck!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 4:50 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I agree with two of the other responders! My husband and I have always maintained "yours, mine and ours" bank accounts--since we were engaged.

    After being a SAHM for the past 8 years, I am now going back to work as a FT substitute teacher. I will be setting up direct deposit accounts where 60% of my take home pay automatically goes to our joint checking account, 20% goes to our joint savings, and 20% goes to my personal account.

    Until this point my husband did the same with his check--60% went to savings/investments; 25% to joint checking, and 10% to his personal account, and 5% went to my personal account--as a SAHM I didn't need much money!

    We have never had an argument over finances, and have never overdrawn an account due to a miscommunication.

    Since it sounds like you are the fiscally responsible one, I think you should DEMAND something similar--taking into account his and your obligations!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:20 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • He drives without a license? Does he want to go to jail?

    You need to immediately separate your finances from his, at least until he matures a bti.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:10 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • well my idea would be to slpit ur check up by the things rent. baby. food. .... that kinda things that whay me and my boyfriend do
    Pooky0815

    Answer by Pooky0815 at 9:43 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • We split everything, that's how I want it. Also, maybe get a new husband?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

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