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Thinking of other people during sex??

The last time my husband and I had sex he all of a sudden asked me to think of another guy (any guy)...he said he wanted me to picture him, and to talk dirty about what I wanted to do to him. It was awesome sex (always is) but is this normal? For a man to want his wife to picture someone else and TALK about it??? He was telling me today that he wants to have sex tonight and he wants me to picture another guy...what the heck is up with this??

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • My DH and I play those kind of games all the time. Some guys almost feel as if its a compliment (Kind of like "Well don't you wish you could be with her- she's all mine!). He also loves hearing me talk dirty ... I think he's just found a new way to spice up bedroom life and if it makes the sex better or exciting, why worry over it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • yes, many men get off on it. I know SO does. I have to convince him I'm with other men (I'm not really) and have to give details to get him excited. I watched a movie about a famous author (can't think of his name now) who got off on thinking his wife was with another man. I think it was the movie "Nora". That's when I realized how much SO really likes it so now I just make up stuff for him! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:45 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • See I don't have a problem with it. It was exciting and fun. I just wasn't sure if this is normal. Thanks for the help girls!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • my hubby would be disgusted if he thought I pictured someone else. But maybe ur guy is just into that.

    Answer by Dom123123 at 4:49 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • if he's OK with it, I say go for it! I think anything is normal as long as 2 consenting adults agree.
    It probably adds a spark to it, and maybe he just likes seeing out enjoy yourself.
    Just enjoy it for a while.
    Don't worry about 'normal'

    Answer by LadyAronna at 4:54 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • perfectly normal. In fact I am sure women do that too.Don't worry about it......

    Answer by bella69147 at 5:00 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • That has never once happened in my marriage of 44 1/2 years. To me, it sort of goes against the whole idea of what marriage is about, which is the life-time union of two people who are 100% commited to each other. We even made vows that said "forsaking all others" and clinging only to each other. As a matter of fact, the intimate side of my marriage is such that I feel uncomfortable discussing it with anyone else, even other women when they ask for advice. It is sacred between only my husband and me. I cannot in my wildest imagination picture bringing anyone else into it on any level. I often wonder what is so different about us, and I hope that it is that my marriage is about so much more than just the physical. It is holy, set apart, and so special that even if for some unimaginable reason, my husband should ever ask me to do such a thing, I would have to say "No, I cannot do that. I refuse to do that."

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:11 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Well not everyone is the same. My marriage is number one to BOTH of us. This is something new to both of us and we like it. I wanted to know if other men do this too. If you dont do it then that is fine...but don't insinuate that people who DO this is only meaning their marriage is all about the physical. It is exciting and new for us. It's not as if we are bringing someone else into our bed....very different to us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • NannyB
    Im glad that you and your husband have such a strong relationship that has lasted that long for you. That is hard to find now days But although my husband has never asked me to do that i understand that all guys are different on what helps them get off. If they do that and they like how it gives a new spark in the bedroom then thats great. It does not mean that they dont love eachother and that they are not 100% commited to eachother. There are people who will have a 3some because its a new spark but are still 100% committed to their spouse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • 3 somes is not a commintement. its cheating no matter what!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

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