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I need advice to give advice....

My SIL and BIL are having marriage problems. She is 6 months prg. Their 1yr ann is Aug 9. They made plans in Feb to go camping with her college friends. Well in the mean time they had gotten in a fight, and he said some things I'm sure he didn't mean about the baby. Well she had told her friend (1 that is also going camping) and her friend emailed her back about it and he read the email (b/c he goes through some of her emails) and he got pissed and now he won't go with her. Do you think he's at fault for not going even though it's their anniversary or is she for embarrsing him to her friends? She's going regardless and offered to come back early Sunday and do something special with him and he told her he'd be busy farming. What do you think? I don't know what 2 tell her.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Try not to get in the middle of the situation because they are married and they do need privacy during this marital matter. However, you can just advise her to try to work things out with her DH before she/they go camping or maybe she should suggest just the two of them going away on "their" first anniversary alone without a third party. This is just a test of their relationship and going about it the wrong way in the beginning could lead to divorce. Just tell her to talk things out with him and go on a private trip because this will be the first and last anniversary that they will share together before the baby comes. I think that he should not have went through her email in the first place...JMO. There is obviously some trust issues there. And by being separate on their anniversary will only draw up more issues. They can't get that day back. I hope they work it out.
    momofonewntmore

    Answer by momofonewntmore at 7:27 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • i think that he needs to grow up. everyone needs someone to vent to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I dont think that she was embarrsing him just venting to a friend. And i dont think her friend would go off and say something to him when they are out having a good time. But its hard to comment on this without knowing what the fight was about and what the email said.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I think this is their problem... Shes probably just venting. This is not a situation where advice would help.
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 6:36 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • In all honesty, jmo, but I don' t think its right for someone to tell others about their problems in a marriage into detail to where someone else may look at the other spouse thinking they are an a$$. I can understand saying we are fighting, I'm upset w/ him or whatever. But giving friends or family information that may harm their relationship w/ the spouse is wrong. What if its something to where your friends or family just can't stand to be around them after the fact and so many relationships can be ruined. I hope this makes sense. lol.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 6:36 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • You need to suggest that they sit down with a neutral 3rd party
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:36 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I know I don't know what his comment was about the baby, but she said it was aweful and something someone should never say..so I'm guessing something along the lines of regretting the baby or wishing she wasn't preg or wanting it to die (if he was really pissed) and I have no idea what the email back said..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • You need to NOT get involved. They need to go to a neutral third party.

    Right now NEITHER side sounds right.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:54 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I don't think that anyone should air their dirty laundry. The problem there is she went and talked crap about what he said and now her friend has an opinion of him and probably said something about him. So now he does feel uncomfortable for something that should have been kept between him and his wife. I think that yes he is being imature, but she was wrong to tell about their problems. Couples argue all the time and if I went and told my friends everytime I was in a heated argument they would think I was crazy for being with my DH. My DH is wonderful, but when couples are mad they say things they don't truly mean. Like this man did. I think that your friend or sister n law, should have kept her mouth shut. And she is to blame for some of this.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 6:59 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Also to add on. If you have to ask for advice to give advice then maybe you shouldn't be giving any advice at all. Not to be mean. But I don't think you need to be the one sitting anybody down. This will probably all go away if everyone stays out of their business and she keeps their business to herself.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 7:03 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

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