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Am I a bad wife?

I am married to a wonderful man who is a wonderful father. He has never cheated on me and treats me with the utmost respect. But lately I just feel like i'm not "in love" with him anymore. When I kiss him I feel nothing and sometimes I find myself avoiding sex with him. I'm just wondering if it's normal or if i'm truly a bad wife.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • marriages go in cycles, you can fall into and out of love because love is such a complex emotion, or string of emotions. talk to him about your feelings without actually saying 'i dont think i love you'


    i get like that sometimes too, its human nature i think
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 8:05 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I think pookipoo is right. Marriage has different cycles and different emotions that go with it. I mean it isn't like when we were just dating people in our younger years or previous years. This is a life time commitment and I am sure that everyday or week is supposed to be great or perfect or even lovey feeling. I would just talk about your feelings to an extent. And see if you both can talk it through, maybe you need a secret date with him. A one on one dinner night out together. I know there are nights I don't want to slleep with my DH, even though I do, I don't want to. And there are times that he needs to leave the house or I do because I don't want to be with him at that moment. Just a little glitch in your journey together.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 8:09 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I agree with first post. Communication is a biggie, I would just talk to him

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 8:13 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • We have been married a year, but we've been together 5 years.

    We have a 5 month old

    i'm 22 and he's 23
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • You may be a bit depressed. I highly recommend talking to a professional
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:34 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Love isn't totally an emotion, it's a choice, everyday I choose to love my husband and respect him for the man/husband/father he is. However, having been married almost 18 years (wow I feel old now), we have definitely had our ups and downs, sometimes you just need a day away, or a girls weekend away (yes I know it's hard with kids) but really you come back refreshed and renewed. My sister in law will sometimes just get a hotel room in the big city by her and just go by herself and spend the day reading and relaxing, then the next day meet the family for lunch and go home, she says it helps her.
    finallyamom40

    Answer by finallyamom40 at 9:05 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • not a bad wife....maybe not the right wife for him
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:39 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • things will change you just had a kid give it some time, play pornos get toys make it fun roleplay with each other be kinky
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 9:49 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Your not a bad wife...that "in love" feeling comes and goes......marriage is not about love, it is a committment. You took vows to stay with this man for better or worse, that is a committment, it has nothing to do with love. You can bring back that loving feeling, think about all the things you loved about him in the begining. As for the sex part, I always say----fake it til you make it.....by that I mean just decide to go ahead with the sex even though you may not really be into it at the time, but trick your mind. Just start thinking about how much you love this man, how wonderful he is....then before you know it you'll be getting into the sex. That loving feeling is fleeting...the committment is what makes a strong and long lasting marriage.

    LOL..you just got the speach I give my adult kids!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:00 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Feelings come and go. That's why marriage has to be built on commitment. When you don't "feel in love," all you need do is to continue to do loving acts, and the feelings will return. The sexual part could be because you are angry at your husband for some reason. Maybe he's not as attentive as he used to be. Maybe you don't get to spend as much time with him as you once did. It is helpful to think back to what attracted you to your husband when you first knew that he was the man for you. Think about those times and think also about how you treated him then. Tell him what a great father he is. Tell him that you appreciate him for the man of integrity that he is. Next thing you know, you will be feeling very much in love again.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:05 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

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