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If you were a mom that gave her child up for adoption would you do it again if you had to or would you just tough it out?

Even thow you know now what you didn't know then would you still do it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (13)
  • Never in a million years - I was capable at the time of raising her and should have given myself (and her) more value in my decision making.

    I know that this sounds horrible as I have formed a great love for her adoptive parents and their extended family - but it is the truth and she now knows it (she is now 19 and no longer living with her adoptive parents as she is a new mom herself).

    But we can't un-do what's been done can we? We can only go forward with as much honesty and integrity as possible. Taking the credit and apologizing for decisions we made that hurt others and hoping that they too will look to the future and the possibilities that lie ahead.

    And, if there is nothing to apologize for - if you are a birth mom that stands by your decision then good for you. Each of us is unique, each of us has value, none of us can speak for anyone but ourselves.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 8:14 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Same here, I would find a way to keep my child.. Now I know that I have the strength and ability to do so. I have confidence in myself that I did not have when I relinquished. Lastly, I had no idea that adoption could possibly have any permanent effects on my child. I thought he would never miss me or need to know me - I was wrong. I thought I would be okay with my decision - I was wrong. And, my son has had a great life...but, so has the son I raised.

    Had I known what I know now about adoption, there is no way on earth that I would have gone through with it. As weak and scared as I was, I would like to think I would have found a way.

    Answer by Southernroots at 8:26 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Never would I do it again .It is a permanent painful solution for a temporary problem.Both P.Angels and S-roots have wonderful amswers.We need to work to change the attitude that adoption is a good solution and replace it with the attitude to adoption as a very last resort.I

    Answer by drfink at 1:51 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • cont.sorry hit the wrong key. I realize most aparents are wonderful but so are most natural moms.

    Answer by drfink at 1:55 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • No would never do it again. If I could take it back and have him in my life, I would in a heartbeat.

    Answer by Thaifalung20 at 5:40 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • No I would never do it again, if I could go back and change my decision I would have left the hospital with him in my arms and never looked back.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:56 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • If I'd had known what adoption would do to me and especially my son, and the amazing things I am capable of doing, I would have taken my sorry knocked up ass back to England and toughed it out.


    Answer by onethentwins at 5:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I don't understand why mother's who kids have been removed by social services have a year or MORE to get their act together so, they can get their kids back but, moms who relinguish don't get a second chance. There needs to be some kind of reform with adoption and foster care, that abused children are not sent back to their abusers and mother's that want their kids are given the chance to raise them. AND there needs to be information to FATHERS of these children given up for adoption. No man that I have ever talked to has ever heard of the Punative Father Registry and if they have heard of it they didn't know that had to register every time they may be the father of a child not yet born.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:24 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • mattewscandi - the punitive father registry was designed to rob fathers of their rights and nothing more. You're right, who, other than people already in the adoption community, would ever dream there was such a strange registry.

    Ladies, we all need to warn the young men in our lives about this registry.


    Answer by onethentwins at 9:18 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • No I'd never do it again. Not in a million yrs. If anyone dared to say I couldnt raise my own child like they did to me then, I'd stand up and show them I could do it instead of believing them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

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