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if you gave your child up for adoption would you want it open or a closed adoptionand why?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (12)
  • open...I'd have to know the child was being taken care of & having a good life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Open.....because I did relinquish a son to adoption, I now believed that open adoptions are better for most children than closed ones. It is unfair to expect a child to not be able to know their birth families and their heritage. I also believe that closed adoptions are unnecessarily cruel and tortuous for birth parents, and rarely necessary.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:28 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Open - because it is far, far better for the adoptee. No more secrets and lies!
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:36 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Open is much better. I agree with onethentwins. Honesty to the one that matters.
    Thaifalung20

    Answer by Thaifalung20 at 5:39 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • if i ever gave my child up i would have to say open cause i would to know he was being took care of
    lagurl

    Answer by lagurl at 1:27 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would say Open, based on what I know now I believe that would be so much better for my child. No secrets, no lies.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:58 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I am giving my child up for adoption and it is completely OPEN. I could NEVER just hand my child over to a social worker not knowing where it was going. I believe that just becuase I can not raise this child, it does not mean that I do not love it! I chose to give it life over terminating my pregnancy and then I spent time picking the "perfect" parents for it! This child will grow up knowing that I made this decision out of love so that it could have the type of life it deserves. And if it EVER goes through any sort of abandonment issue, we will all work together to get to the bottom of it as soon as it happens

    Plus, for the childs future safety... it is much better for the AP's to have my medical history in case anything comes up with the childs health. In a closed adoption, they would no nothing about me!
    Jaydin_Makenna

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 4:17 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • If I were to ever voluntarily surrender a child, I would not choose adoption, where the birthcertificate is sealed and a new one is ammended and issued. I would seek guardianship instead. That way- there would be no question that the child would have total access to the knowledge of their origins.
    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 7:25 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • "I would seek guardianship instead. That way- there would be no question that the child would have total access to the knowledge of their origins."

    I wish more people knew about this option - good point adopteeme

    Comparing the differences in my adoptee experience (closed adoption) and my relinquished daughter who is now 19 (open adoption), both of us agree that while it takes a lot more giving and work on the adoptive family and biological family sides, it is a much better alternative. My daughter constantly remarks how there are things she simply doesn't struggle with (that I did) or that she worked through at a much earlier age than I did. It's better for the adoptee - so Open is my vote. That doesn't mean that it's an easy road though....just sayin'
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 8:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • "I could NEVER just hand my child over to a social worker not knowing where it was going."

    That sounds so judgmental. Are you aware that open adoptions have not always been available? For many years, if a mother relinquished, there was no choice as to whether an adoption was closed or open. It is truly horrible not to know where your child will be or anything else about them.

    For your sake, I hope that your adoption contact is never cut off as it happens in so many open adoptions. Far too many moms think open adoptions are devastated when adoptive parents discontinue contact, sometimes even moving away. It is a fact that moms who relinquish need to be prepared is a possibility. If a mom cannot accept the possibility that contact may be abruptly stopped, she should probably reconsider the adoption option.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:00 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

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