Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it ok to say goodbye to my 18 year old daughters ex boyfriend?

My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 18 months. We have become very close to his parents and spent many hours together. My daughter just went off to college and cannot stand to have a long distance relationship/plus she has suddenly become interested in someone else. She told her boyfriend the truth and he and his family are crushed. He has always called me mom etc. I too have a young boy and I am feeling very sad for him. I have spoken to his mother and of course they don't understand how she could possibly fall out of love so quickly. She is a very good girl testing her world. I would like to talk to her boyfriend but I knwo I can't possibly make it better for him. I just want to tell him that he has been a wonderful first boyfriend and a wonderful person. Is this ok? I am so sad for both of them but yet happy for my daughter as she seems to be moving on more quickly then he.

 
pepperannrocks

Asked by pepperannrocks at 8:21 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • So I have had a chance to say my peace to her BF. (ex)a nd he has proved himself to be a wonderful and polite young man. I have told him to not forget his dreams and keep Jesus in his heart. He told me, ("thanks mama" Iove you!!! )
    Ouch!!!
    I love you Meghan you are so strong and I hope you never have to feel that kind of heart ache!!
    I know you have chosen to do whats best for you!!!
    pepperannrocks

    Answer by pepperannrocks at 1:56 AM on Jul. 30, 2009

  • I think it would be okay. But you might want to have ur daughter have that convo with him first and if she doesnt want to you should ask her if thats okay. She might be upset, maybe not but I thnk u should run it by ur daughter either way first
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:44 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Talking to him may actually make it worse for him and of course you also run the risk of upsetting your daughter. They're young, it's sad but things like this happen and i'm sure this probably won't be the last guy she just kinda moves on from. She is going off to college and has alot to experience.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 9:08 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • let him come to you. he may put false hope into you keeping in touch with him, even to say goodbye
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:54 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Kind of in the same boat here. My son broke it off with his girlfriend of 3 years. She goes to school in TN he goes to school in IL. I have kept in touch with her through facebook and text messaging, he is fully aware. They are trying to keep open lines of communication. My son on the other hand has not had any contact with her family since the break up. The impression is they balme him where as I understand why my son made the decision he did and it really is in her best interest.
    emptynstr

    Answer by emptynstr at 10:20 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I don't think it would be a bad thing to do as long as you keep it sort of short. It is a good way to validate his feelings.....the relationship was important....and you think he was a good guy. Just don't get carried away! No promises or comparisons....don't give him any idea that you are telling him to wait for her or anything like that. He should move on...and you don't want to slow that process down.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:56 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Thank you all so much everyone! I am heartbroken and my daughtere said she also wouldn't mind. I just hate the thought of not being able to console him even for one last time. He is hurting so badly. So I will give it another couple of days for him to calm down and then either try him in an email or a short phone call. I just want to tell him that there really is no easy way to break up with someone and I know he is hurting badly. I do/did love him like a son but I am perfectly willing to let him go obviously but I just need that last bit of the nurchering mother in me to let him know he will always have a special place in my heart, I don't anyone could have treated my daughter any better than he and his family.. Too bad she grew away from him so quickly like within the first 3 weeks of summer b OUCH!!! Should she have lied a little? I know they are not even holding hands just want to spend time together. God love hurts!!!
    pepperannrocks

    Answer by pepperannrocks at 11:42 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I THINK IT WOULD BE, YOU DON'T AUTOMATICALLY STOP CARING FOR SOMEONE BECAUSE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WENT BAD. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN MY KIDS THROUGH THE YEARS HAD DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIPS AND IN THE PROCESS WE GET ATTACHED TO THEM TOO, AND WHEN IT ENDS, WHAT DO WE DO WITH OUR FEELINGS???
    older

    Answer by older at 12:47 PM on Jul. 29, 2009