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Is it really that common for four year olds to through temper tantrums? I am loosing my mind b/c i feel like i have tried everything! Any suggestions would be great.

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Asked by thekinseyfam at 9:29 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • It is very common, they're trying to assert their independence and control, boundary testing. Constistency is the key, a child needs to understand for every action good or bad their are consequences both negative and positive. I have a picture chart of my sons 3 biggest offense, screaming tantrums, playing with water (ie flooding my bathroom) and purposefully peeing on my floor when he doesn't get his way. For each of those offense there is a consequence, screaming= time out to calm down, water= no computer time for that day, peeing on floor= no movie at bedtime. Because everything is represented with pictures my son fully understands the behavior chart and the other day after flooding the bathroom he came to me while I was cleaning and said he was sorry and got no computer that day I didn't have to punish him he did it himself. Have the consequence fit the offense, but make sure its meaningful to your child. Continued...

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:45 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • If your child laughs when put in time out thats not an effective consequence. Is tv important? Computer time? is there a favorite toy? Find something he responds to and make sure he knows if a tantrum is thrown, this will happen. Try using the pictures to represent the big idea if you think he doesn't understand or can't remember.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:47 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • By the way after starting the picture chart for my son it took about 2-3 weeks before I started seeing real results, so give it time, but currently he hasn't peed on my floor in over a month (was doing it 3-5 times a week) the screaming tantrums happen maybe once a week, but they're getting fewer and further between, and the flooding my bathroom happened for the first time in 2 months the other day. At one time he was flooding my bathroom every single morning, no exaggeration. Just give your son time to adjust to whatever you decide to do, my rule of thumb is at least a month, before giving up and saying its not working. It takes kids longer to "get it".

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:52 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • when my lil brother was younger like 12 months or so when he would get mad he would just pull his pants down and stand there i would tell tell him if he didnt behave u would take somethin away form him or what we did was just ignored him and he stopped good luck

    Answer by aidensmama8 at 10:04 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I ignore her tantrums and I never give in, consistency helps. It's hard though, especially if they are throwing their tantrum in a public place and you're getting looks. Good luck!

    Answer by Nadali at 1:28 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

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