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My x has a crazy wife- shes biopolar and other things for real-HELP!

He was told by child services to chose between his twins who r 4 and his wife, that she is too crazy for them to be around. He has till Friday to chose or they take the kids away from him- they gave him time I guess to try to find a place for her. He said he wont chose between them. I have a 14 yr old tht visits there house and I found out this week about all this mess. I dont know what to do. If he gets rid of her then I dont have to worry, but what if he tells them he wont chose and the state takes his kids? Is my child safe to go there cause shes older- the state never told me a relative did. I think they should have sent me a letter since my child visits there. Anyway my child told her Dad if he gives away her half brothers that she will never forgive him. His wifes family wont take her in, they told him to keep her & give up the twins. Advice please?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • damn, thats fucked up. if he picks this wife over the kids, hes just as crazy as her.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:16 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I honestly don't know, but most lawyers have free consults so you could talk to one of them about it. They would know much more.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 10:17 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I really don't know. I honestly wish the courts would tell my ex to pick either his wife or his daughter. Many of his family members have already told him to choose and so far he has chosen his wife since he's never even held his daughter.

    Since your daughter is 14 she can't have any say-so on if she goes to visit or not? I thought by that age she was old enough to say that she did or did not want to go for visits. Ask your lawyer about it. I wouldn't want my child there either. Good Luch=k
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 10:22 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Do they have a minister or priest to talk too? He should put her ina hospital for mental problems till he can figure out a permanant solution- ask ur child if she still wants to visit? I think it is up to her to decide to vsit if she feels safe because of her age ( u probably have a legal order for visit so u will be in contempt unless she really tells her Dad she doesnt want to be around the crazy wife)- if she doesnt feel safe she would tell u- get her a cell phone-call child services and tell them about ur child ask them if it is safe for her to visit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • A person with Bipolar can't be just hospitalized until something permanent can be figured out. First, some people need to be a litlle more empathetic with people that have mental disorders. Maybe then, they would be more willing to get help. Your ex is in a very tough place that I wouldn't want to be. It sounds like he wants to be a caring husband and help his wife but in order to do that he has to give up his kids or he gives up the kids and ditches his wife. It's not always such as easy decision. Don't just assume what you would do. I wouldn't be able to make a good decision without more info on how the wife really is. Being crazy and having Bipolar is just not enough. She needs support to help control the Bipolar. I would keep my child away, just for safety sakes.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:57 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • i don't see that it is any of your concern
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I bet he's in a rough spot. Being Bi-Polar is not a death sentence. With the proper treatment plan she could fully recover. What i'm getting is that she's obviously not on meds to control the condition. He should absolutely take his kids, but still support his wife in her recovery process. I'm sure loosing her kids AND husband would send her in the worst of downward spirals.

    As for your daughter, she's of legal age to make a decision to visit or not. Because your daughter is not a permanent resident of their house, they're under no obligation to inform you of her step mothers mental health condition. That information is kept strictly confidential, and they would be in breech of her HIPPA rights...which is a lawsuit they really don't want to mess with.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 12:38 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I say if he picks the screwball wife over the twins then he is also picking her over his 14 y.o. daughter....
    keep her away. Besides the 14 y.o. should be old enough now to decide whether or not she wants to visit him.
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Wow, I feel so sorry for him. That is an impossible choice. He married her for better or for worse and he clearly wants to care for her. She is unstable and in need, and yet his kids are very much in need too.

    Is it possible that other family can take in the kids until she gets stabilized? My heart goes out to him, this must be horrible for him to go through.

    I'd let your daughter visit, but be sure that you or her father are always around.

    And to the rude people who call this obviously mentally ill person horrible names like "screwball" you should be ashamed of yourselves. That is totally uncalled for. This woman is sick and in need of compassion not name calling and judging.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:47 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I was married to a man that was diagnosed Bi-polar. Life was hell when he was sick. He never stayed on meds and counsolars said most dont. I left my ex finally after he stated to become very dillusional and physically abusive. those that new him when he was "normal" couldn't believe the change in him during his manic episodes. My son is only 9 right now so he doesn't see him due to threats and wha not, but my husband and I have decided that when he gets older it will be up to him to see him, but not when hes mentally sick. My advice for yr 14yr old is to leave it to her if she wants to go there, but I would not allow her while the wife is off meds. The twin situation is something the dad is going to have to deal with himself. Being there before it is very hard dealing with a bi-polar person. They have a illness that is treatable and if she can get on meds and stay on them then hopefully he can restore his family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

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