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My one year old is no longer innocent!

Ok...so most of the time he is, but he is learning fast how to be purposely rude and mean!
It seems as though every time we go to the grocery store, he is throwing fits and looking me straight in the eye while he picks up every item and throws it on the floor, even though I tell him no over and over. And then if he gets mad, he hits me and if I tell him "no hitting" then he does it even more! I am at a loss, he doesnt seem to understand the concept of time out, but he does know "no no." He even tells himself "no no" before he does something he knows is wrong.
I thought I had a good year before the terrible twos.....what can I do to help him behave???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Grab his hand as soon as he swings, look him straight in the eye, and in a very strong and firm voice say NO.  Do it every time. Also,if you are home or some where you can, put him from you immediately and walk away. When he realizes he no longer has your attention, that will help too. My one yr old started this few weeks ago and this worked really well. It only took a few days to break him of the habit. I am not above a quick swat on the butt when its some thing I REALLY need him to understand is wrong (messing with cords and outlets!) But I was with you on the teaching him to to not hit by hitting didn't reason out well :) I don't think time outs work for crap, but to each his own. If it works for you great, I just don't care for it to the extent of a special chair and such. Seems to me its more like a "special" place for them to go when they are bad....how does that help. Hope this helps some!

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 11:55 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • I don't mean anything rude by this.... but what happened to that "if you hit them you teach them to hit" routine - obviously you don't spank him - but he sure spanks you. I'm sorry, but there comes a time when a spanking may be the best answer, and this may be one of those times. Good luck though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Some people won't agree but I totally think he is old enough for time out if he's doing these things. We started time out with my daugher really early and now, even mentioning time out makes her stop whatever it is she's doing wrong. Use the same place every time. We make my daughter go sit on her bed. She's two so that's two minutes. She HATES it. I think he's just testing you to see how much he can get away with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Spanking may only make his fit that much worse. I don't know, but it could go either way. It may scare him into submission, which I guess is the point of spanking. Or it may just make him mad in which case he is only going to respond with more hitting.

    When you are out shopping and he starts to behave like that take anything that you have let him pick out and put it back on the shelf and make sure he knows it and knows why. You don't get treats, whether they are toys or candy or your favorite cereal, when you misbehave. It shouldn't take him long to make that connection.
    casperskitty

    Answer by casperskitty at 11:04 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • OP here- I dont understand the first post other than you're telling me to hit him back, right? I wont do that but thanks for the advice.
    I have tried putting him in time out, I even labeled the chair "time out." I tell him "No No, time out" and when he does it anyway, I put him there. He makes a fuss and then when we get him out, he runs right back over and does it again (in this instance it was pushing the TV buttons) I probably put him in time out 6 times in a row that time trying to be consistent but once he was out, he didnt really care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • If he does not listen to you at this age, you are in for a long haul. Will he listen to father better? if so you need to be way more assertive. Time out does not work, I did not use it for either of my children and they are angels. The moms I know that wasted their time with time out, have children that cuss them out daily at four. Be the boss. Its time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Anon 9:29, you are very quick to judge. Maybe you should write a parenting book on how to raise your perfect angels instead of logging onto here and making assumptions. There was no real advice in your answer. "Be the boss. Its time." You have no idea how assertive I am, I am very assertive with him. I tell him no, I hit his hand (and hard enough to hurt) but that has not worked and in fact has had the opposite effect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Spanking to correctly train a child doesn't make them angry or afraid - and it sounds like what you need to begin with your son.

    Consider this scenario: My 3yos came to me last Fri and was hugging on me saying Oh thank you Mommy! Thank you Mommy! because I had spanked him for pouting until he decided to change his attitude to one of happiness and joy so that he was running off to play with a smile on his face and joy in his heart. The hugging and thanking followed about 30 minutes later and I asked (because I really couldn't think why) "What are you thanking Mommy for? What did I do?" He said "You helped me get my smile back so I could go play happily!" and he again ran off to play giggling with joy. He is not - nor are my other 5 who've been spanked the same way - an angry or hitting child. They are full of joy and self-control. I cannot imagine going through what you described here and I take all 6 to the store regularly
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:32 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Most of the tanturms will come during 1 year and as the child learns to communicate better and control his actions, it will get better.

    Children love to test their boundries. Sounds like that's excatly what he's doing. There are many options here. Time out, spankings, ignoring the behavior and rewarding the positive. It sounds like from your reponses the latter may be the best. While I know you cannot ignore all the behavior, try to focus on what you like for him to do. It sounds as though time out may just be attention to him. So if he's throws a can down firmly tell him no and redirect him to something you approve of such as "help mommy push the cart". Once he does what you want, make a big deal of what a big boy he is and how well he is behaving!!

    obviously this isn't the only option, but give it a try and see if it helps at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

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