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If another mom finds out something about your child, would you want her to tell you?

Example: Suzy's mom overhears your son( little 5 yr old Joey) cussing.

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Joashbecna

Asked by Joashbecna at 11:08 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • No. If my child is able to come to you and talk to you, I want them to know they can trust you. If you come to me, you break that trust and leave my child without an adult to speak to. Because we all know they won't come to mom with those important questions.

    As for your example. No. You are an adult, don't tattle... Besides, if you are the kind of person that is going to get so upset over something so minor, I probibly wouldn't leave you with my kids in the first place. Don't bug me with things like that. I have real issues to worry about...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:12 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Wow. Where is the parental accountability? This isn't "tattling"...we are not five year olds.

    If one of my children is cussing while in the care of another adult, I absolutely want to know so I can correct that behavior.

    Look at it this way...if you child is cussing in school, you can bet your bottom dollar their teacher will be informing you. It should be NO different if the authority figure is another child's mother.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 12:31 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I have had a friend or (vise a versa).. we tell each other if our kids do something wrong... if she correts my kids, say time out, that it was wrong and you shouldn't cuss... she will tell me but i wont punsh my kids for it, unless they do again around me.. shes the same way... so i would say yes i would tell the mother...
    twistedcandy

    Answer by twistedcandy at 1:11 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Yes My kids need to know that if they are doing wrong they may get busted for it whether I am there or not. When I was growing up we kids behaved ourselves because we knew we could get busted because someone in our town would call our mom if we were seen doing wrong . It teaches kids to respect others and the laws. This goes back to it takes a village to raise a child. If you are the type of parent who thinks it is tattling then just ignore the other adult when they come and tell you they saw your child steal a bike or mutilate a cat or steal $$ from someone. As for me I want to know when my kids do wrong

    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:42 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • It would really depend on what it is. I would trust that the other parent would know what I do and dont approve of. For example, I leave my 7 yr old with my sil and him and my nephew (8) are caught talking about girls and kissing. (this is a true story). My sil doesnt make a huge deal about it, but mentions it to me so that I may talk with my son to correct any misconceptions about it and explain what is private info and what is appropriate and not appropriate to discuss in public. On the other hand, I have a friend, or relative that sees foul langauge on my teenage daughters facebook page. On that instance I would not want them to tattle on her, only because they know that I am her friend as well and trust that I will see it eventually and also understanding that she is a teenager and is likely under a lot of influence from other teens. My daughter needs to know that she can trust my friends if she ever is in real trouble.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • IF i trust the "said person" enough to have my child with me not around, Then I must trust them enough to handle the situation. So your Ex: my child cursed, YOU punish them and when I arrive for my child you would say " well, she had one timeout for her language, but has been great ever since" Then I know she has been corrected and I can address it if I want to.
    IMO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I would want to know. Most of the people that care for my son know what he is allowed to do and not to do. And if he does something he isn't allowed to do than they have the right to punish him. But I am to be told what they did and for what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • yes i would want them to tell if he is doing somthing he is not supposed to be doing so i can correct that behavier
    lagurl

    Answer by lagurl at 12:53 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • One of the rare occasions that I'm going to disagree with Sabrina.

    I don't think a "btw, little Johnny was using some inappropriate language that the other kids might have picked up." is bad at all. I'd want to know if my little darling was trying to get away with murder out of my earshot.

    The kid didn't go to the other parent for some private help. Even if he did, it's my opinion that secrets are shared between peers and that children and adults are not peers. I absolutely will not keep secrets from another child's parent. That's not my place and I find it highly suspect and not a proper relationship for an adult to have with someone else's child.

    There are, of course, exceptions. Therapists, doctors, etc. And I'll make sure my kids know that when they get old enough for that. For now, what I tell ANY child I know is that I won't keep secret anything that I think their parents should know.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 1:32 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Thanks for your answers, everyone!
    Joashbecna

    Answer by Joashbecna at 8:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2009

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