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Am I a bad mom for wanting a break from my kids?

Yes, I know that sounds so horrible! I feel so guilty even thinking or sharing this with you. I am a SAHM and have an 8 month old and a 22 month old. Life gets so stressful with 2 under 2 and I am ALWAYS with them. As soon as my DH comes home from work, I want to jump into my truck and just drive to clear my head ALONE. He doesnt understand why I do this and says we ALL have to go places together as a family. And I tell him, I just need to go to the store ALONE just to breathe and get a break from the kids. And he says NO. We ALL go together. We have had many arguements about this. He doesnt understand why I need to be by myself for a FEW minutes. It rejuvenates me and makes me a better mom, I promise.

I know I might be the only one who feels this way. The need to take a break from their kids, but am I wrong in feeling this way? If so, how do other SAHM cope? I need some coping tips?


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Jul. 28, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (11)
  • You are not wrong for needing time for yourself. I tried staying at home with both my kids. With the first, I lasted 7 months and I had to go back to work. With the second, I stayed home 10 months with both of them and it was all I could do. Some people just aren't cut out for staying at home. I was losing it. I feel so much better working every day and it makes me appreciate the time I do spend with the kids so much more. I felt like a bad mom when I was a SAHM because I really just didn't have the patience for it. Now they are so happy to see me when I get home and don't take advantage of mommy always being there either. Luckily, my hubby works nights and I work days so we don't pay for daycare. I don't get to see my hubby much, but when we're all together on the weekends now, it's awesome. We always make better use of our time together now instead of laying around & wasting those days. I'm sure you're a great mom!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • That is funny, because I was just thinking the same thing a few minutes ago as I went for a walk (alone!). I need it, for my own sanity. Maybe don't go to the store. Try going for a walk, or to a friends, or somewhere where you are not necessarily out and away.

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:26 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • no, your not wrong. im a SAHM mom. my mother takes my son 2 days a week so i can get a break and have some time for myself.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:26 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • You are not wrong. A 10 minute trip to the store alone is like a day at the spa to me.  I love my daughter but sometimes I need a time out. Don't feel guilty about needing some you time. If your husband won't let you have me time, get a family member or friend to watch your kids for a hour if possible. Then do something by yourself, you'll feel so much better. Good luck.


    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 11:40 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • The ONLY bad mom is the one who beats her kids.

    You're NORMAL.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:51 PM on Jul. 28, 2009

  • Of course you need time to yourself. While he is working . . . believe it or not, he has time to himself . . . as opposed to always having children there. Many women go back to work just for this time away. I am also a stay at home mom and I require atleast 3 nights a month to spend at my friends . . . 3-5 hours at a time. I LOVE my daughter, but I need this ME time. This time to not have to worry if she is putting something in her mouth, whether she needs a new diapy, or just a hug. Daddy can do this and NEEDS to do this, for not only Mama, but for the baby/ies . . . YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM and don't think it for one second. You are merely a normal mother with very normal needs. You are fine and he needs to understand. I wish you the best of luck Mama.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Work on creating alone time during the day. Train them both to nap at the same time and then have your alone time then. Take a long shower, a tub bath, sit on CM, chat on the phone with a friend, walk around the house a few times and get fresh air, spend some time on a hobby, pray, study Scripture. This is all alone time that is very rejuvenating. My Dh has never liked me leaving alone until just recently. Ours were 2 under 2, 3 under 3, 4 under 5, 5 under 7, and now 6 under 10. I homeschool and he works and average of 17 hours 5-6 days a week. If I was to wait around for him to be here so I could escape for free "me" time, I'd die. And he wants family time as much as possible because he never sees any of us and he wants what alone time he can get to be with me. You can argue about it with him and you might get somewhere or you can learn to adjust to his preferences and be appreciated for it. Either will work to some extent.

    Answer by GrowingMama at 2:26 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I feel the same way and my hubby always says we can go together also.. I have a 16month old and a baby on the way... .. Like you said just going to the store will make you a better mom and i agree.... .

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • my brother said that about me when i was a sahm, and said "all you do is stay home all day, so what are you complaining about?" Then he had a baby girl of his own, and saw what I'm talking about. My brother came down stairs saying, "i'm so exhausted. i don't see how something so small can make me so tired...i just get tired watching her running around!" He apologized for being so judgmental to me, now since he got to see how life was for me with his own eyes!

    kids are BUSY little buggers! you can't get any rest! you need that alone time to rejuvenate. It doesn't mean that you love them any less; we all need to have some me time. it's easy for your husband to say that yall need to do things as a family because his alone time is the job. So when he comes home he misses yall so much that he wants to do things together. concoct a day where you're getting your hair done, and let him witness what your saying. he'll sing a new tune

    Answer by alize_26 at 7:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I left my kids with my husband for a whole saturday. I went and spent time with a girlfriend, and told him to do it one day. After that one day, he has never questioned me wanting to go to the store by myself ever again!

    Answer by fallnangel3 at 8:27 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

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