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my husbands drinking

iv talked to my husband many many times about his drinking. It drives me nuts he gets drunks about 3 times a week when ever i say something he will stop for a few days but continues right back at it once he thinks im not mad.
we just had a baby 4 months ago and i figured that would make him wana quit. I talk to him about it till im blue in the face i get no where.
He gets mad at me because i dont want him around our little guy when hes been drinking but yet hes not willing to stop.
How do I go about helping him? I said till death due us part but i dont know how much more i can take. Iv threatend to leave maybe i need to for a few days. Any advice would be wounderful thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Jul. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Please find your local Al-Anon chapter. They can really help you with this. NOTHING will make him change till he wants to.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:30 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Mine hit this phase too after I had our dd. Pissed me off to and he never quit! he left for Iraq however and now doens't want to drink as much. He isn't so great with babies and now that she is bigger he thinks she will be more fun! I told my DH he can have a drink, but if he gets drunk, he takes care of HIMSELF! Mine did the passing out thing or needed to be carried up the stairs and I refused! Now he feels horrible for drinking like that.
    I hope yours gets better! Maybe when baby gets a little bigger he will slow down? A guy doesn't understand nearly as well as a woman when they have kids... everything changes! Did he do this before you had baby?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • He's probably an alcoholic, and if he is, he can't stop without help. If other members of his family know he has a drinking problem, you should all get together and do an intervention. If they don't know, you should tell them. This is not something you can handle alone, and you must understand that if he's addicted, no matter how many promises he makes to you, he cannot keep them. His body has to have the alcohol. He needs to be in a treatment center where he can get it out of his system with medical supervision. To get him there, you need the help of his family and friends. The first step is to make others aware that there is a problem.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:39 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My husband went through this too, except he got a bit violent and mean-tempered when he drank, so I left him and told him I wasn't coming back (my daughter was only a month old) until he figured out what was more important in life, his family or his drinking. It only took him 4 days to decide he'd rather have family.
    Mick86Sara

    Answer by Mick86Sara at 10:36 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Hon, I'm sorry to tell you but there is nothing YOU can do to make him stop drinking. It has to be him, he has to want it. He needs to get into an AA group....but the key is HE as to want it, he has to do it. It may help if you do tell him you are leaving him...but you do have to be prepared to follow through. It may be enough for him to seek help. There are groups out there you really should look into, Alanon...for the spouses of alcoholics.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:18 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Try to get him to see a doctor. He may have depression or chemical imbalance. He may be scared and stressed about having a family to take care of. I'm not making excuses for him, but alot of men take a little while to accept responsibility. It seems like they don't usually begin to mature until around 30. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I've known alot of ppl in my life and this is what I've seen. Men will tell you about how stupid they were when they were younger. He may be drinking out of anxiety. It's possible he's an alcoholic, but from what I've read, it actually takes time to become dependent on alcohol. He may not think it's a big deal to drink or he may have problems in his mind that need to be dealt with. Try to talk to him when he's sober and ur not mad- about life & how he feels about it.
    ranedare

    Answer by ranedare at 12:42 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • show him that you will leave, leave to another persons house friend or family it seems he thinks you are not going to pull your weight on leaving and thinks it is an empty threat...leave for a few days or a week or how ever long it takes...your still together not divorced and tell him you won't come back until he is completely sober and if he refuses you know he is just putting on an act for you all this time...just trying to be helpful :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Sounds like a hard road ahead, I would seek couseling for sure. obviously something is going on with, why would he feel the need to get drunk so much. That sort of behavior is suppose to stop when you have a baby, most men the baby is the most important person besides yourself in their lives.
    If it's too much for you nobody can fault you for wanting to leave him, but it ulitmatly has to be your decision. good luck to you!~
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 1:28 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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