Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Only Child

What do you think of people having only one child? Do you think they are just atomatically spoiled brats or is it how they are raised? Do you think they are lonely even if they have lots of cousins? I dont want anymore children but my family tells me i should have another. So whats your opinion?

Answer Question
 
DessaG20

Asked by DessaG20 at 2:43 AM on Jul. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Although I do have a brother, I wasn't raised with him, and didn't reconnect with him until I was 13 years old...so I was, in essence, an only child. I can say that yes, I was spoiled. But it's had no effect on me as an adult. I don't expect things to just be handed to me, and I know I have to work for what I want. My parents taught me that. I had plenty of friends to keep me company as a child. I never felt lonely. I also got a lot of one-on-one time with my parents, which I loved.

    It's your uterus, and you're the one who has to raise your children, so if you don't want any more, don't have anymore. If the subject comes up, say "I'm thinking about it..." then quickly change the subject. It'll at least hold 'em off for a while. Otherwise ask them if they plan on raising the baby, and if not, to can it.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 2:50 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • It ALL depends on the parenting. I've known kids with siblings to be utter monsters, the Bad Seed come to life. One of the sweetest kids I've even known was an only...he's now an adult and is still a dear. But his parents worked hard on not letting him be bratty.

    It's not the QUANTITY of children. It's the QUALITY of the parenting.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:51 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • for me being an only child i was very lonely and i had a lot of cousin but they lived in another country. if i would have had my cousins around maybe i wouldnt have been so lonely but i did envy those with siblings and would make up imaganary sisters or brothers i wasn't a brat maybe a little but not spoild now my husband his the younest and he acts like a brat. but thats another story. i always swore to myself id have more then one kid so they'd have someone to play with. but there's nothing wrong with having just one kid. my favorite holiday was always christmas i would have lots of christmas gifts and for birthdays. and I always had more focus on me. there;s a good and bad about being an only kid they could turn out brats if you dont give them any boundrys like any kids with siblings they could turn out bad or god brats or not its how you raise them is how they will turn out.
    mommyofone0724

    Answer by mommyofone0724 at 3:05 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My nephew is an only child and i know when he's at home he doesn't get spoiled, he still has to clean his room and he still get's into trouble for throwing tantrums. However, at my mothers house he runs the show, and i know it frustrates my sister to no end. She's been trying to have another one for almost 4 years now though but hasn't recieved any miricle. All of Tommy's cousins that are boys are 10 and up and the girls (which is recent in his fathers side.. they somehow only produce boys) are newborns. the youngest is only 2 months old and the oldest girl is only 2. He never sees his cousins and since he's on summer vacation it's harder for him being the only one in his age range. I know my sister was hoping that i would have a boy so that way Tommy wouldn't be so left out but it's a girl. I feel sorry for tommy, because he is an only child and an unhappy one at that. (he wants a younger brother to show the ropes to).
    bekkahsmom

    Answer by bekkahsmom at 5:59 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • Most onlines I know are spoiled brats, but not because they are onlies! Their parents do it, seemingly out of guilt for only having one. I think onlies can be great. And I think your family needs to mind their own business about the occupancy rate of your uterus.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 8:29 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • my oldest son was an "only" child for 16 years. He was never lonely, my house was a beacon for all the neighborhood kids. He was not spoiled at all. if you are done then you are done. Do not let other guilt you into another child. Is your family going to be the ones who get up for the 2 AM feedings? are they going to pay for this new baby's clothes and food? are they going to buy this new child its school supplies , first car, college tuition??? if not then they need to keep their opinions to themselves

    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:46 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I think you should do whats best and works for YOU and stop letting other peoples opinions determine this very personal choice. I have known only children that were spoiled and I have known only children that were not. I have known kids with lots of siblings that were spoiled too. Its not a matter of if the child has siblings, its a matter of parenting. A parent can determine that they are only having one child and go to great lengths to ensure the child be raised properly and without a level of entitlement. I have a good friend who is also a cafemommer and she only has one child. He is 8 and hes the sweetest kid. I dont find him to be selfish or difficult to get along with. They are quite generous people and I think they are doing a great job with him. They are just choosing (or for other reasons) to not have any more kids. Sure he has lots of stuff, but that doesnt make him selfish or spoiled. Just means hes blessed.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:34 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • I really think it is a personal choice, of course. But I do think only children tend to be more spoiled and also seem to grow up too fast because they spend most of their time with adults. Their parents become more like friends. I have a granddaughter who is an only child, and she has tons of cousins, but sometimes she has a hard time getting along with them. She'd rather come to MawMaw's when she's the only one here. She is much better at entertaining herself though. She's here now! She's 10 but acts like she's about 14.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 10:48 AM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • My 22 year old nephew and almos 14 year old daughter are both onlies, by choice..

    They are great kids.

    When someone asks me why we don't have another one, I tell them that we have no idea how we made Alyssa, and ask them to explain how we make another one. It it a great conversation stopper.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:56 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

  • We only have one child. The spoiled only child is not typical. They do get more attention from mom and dad but is that really a bad thing? My son is a great kid. He is generous and begs to go help at the women's shelter with me. He loves to help and do things for others. We are raising him to be kind and generous. My son has pretty much any toy out there thanks to my 13 siblings and his wealthy grandparents. I had all those siblings and was lonely much of the time. Got little attention from my parents and rarely see any of them. So having siblings does not mean you will not be lonely. One former friend has 5 kids her kids are so out of control. She does not discipline and they are just brats. I feel for her but it is her own fault. She was one that made rude comments to me about how bratty only children are. She was so full of it. If you only want one only have one. Raise them right they will be just fine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.